Hayden pooped on the potty last night!
oh...for anyone reading who doesn't have kids and therefore a vested interest in the elimination habits of another human being, you may want to skip this one.
Two nights ago he wanted to sit on his potty sans diaper for the first time, at least the first time with me. Then he took the little seat to "mommy's potty" (at least something is mine around here) and sat there for the longest time. Now, when you are two years old, there is only so much to occupy you when you are sitting bare bottomed with your feet swinging in the air. You can talk to Mommy, comment on your cranky brother rolling around on the bathroom floor, keep threatening to unroll all the toilet paper, and play with your penis. So, that is what he did. He really wanted some toilet paper (which he calls paper towels) so I said if he went pee pee in the potty, he could use some. A few minutes later he allegedly did. Now, I can't confirm either way and he seems too honest for his own good (ie: to the sound of Logan screaming "Mommy, I pushed brother!"), so I told him Good Job! and gave him some paper. He thrives on praise and then wanted to stay up there to do it again. Since it was bedtime, he was doing an excellent job of stalling, something he has made into an art form lately, and I had to eventually drag him off and force his jammies onto him. As much as I want to encourage the potty, there is a point where we need to move on to something else. How do I find a balance without discouraging him?
Last night he said he wanted to sit on the potty again and by the time I got into the bathroom he had put his seat on the toilet and removed his diaper. Well, lo and behold, I think he was as surprised as I was when he pooped. Had I had the setup to pull a string to set off confetti and a fanfare in our bathroom, I would have! Of course, then he wanted to stay up there to do it again, and was not happy to get down and go put on jammies. We called Fillip and told him the good news, who dutifully praised Hayden as if he had won the Nobel Prize.
So, it looks like we are definitely moving onto potty training. We had no intention of even starting yet, feeling like Hayden wasn't near ready, but like everything else he is leading us. We still don't feel the need to worry about it too much, but he is welcome to go on the potty any time he wants. He sees the kids at school and I suspect that is what prompted this. My little guy is growing up so fast!
Friday, April 28, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Professional Administrative Assistants' Day
To all you working stiffs out there- Happy Day!! I hope your boss(es) did something great for you!
They can be taught!
Last year, my main (#1) boss called to apologize at the end of the day for forgetting all about it. He said he would make it up to me, he appreciated all my hard work, and would do something really nice. He then promptly forgot all about it. Had he just forgotten to begin with, I wouldn't have cared a bit. However, making a promise, then forgetting is never acceptable to me.
This year two of my other bosses (#4 & #5) approached me and invited me out to lunch. As nice as that is, I was so nervous. What could we possibly have to say to each other? It turned out quite nice and more relaxed than I expected. I truly tried to have topics of conversation other than my kids, but they just kept asking me about those munchkins. As we were leaving, my main boss apologized for not taking me to lunch. He was rushing out early to take care of details before his wife has a baby tomorrow. Ok Mr., you're excused- this time! Well, when I returned he was gone, but there was a nice card with an even nicer note and a check! That's more like it! The note really means the most since he actually put some thought into it. A little appreciation goes a loooooong way.
A fourth boss (#3 actually) has ignored the day completely. See the Memo in another post to get feel for this guy. He did call to speak with Boss #1, asking if he would be out tomorrow. Me- "No, his wife is having the baby tomorrow." Boss #3- "Yeah, I know. I was just wondering." Really? Do you really think he will be here while his wife gives birth? What a bozo! Bosses #2 and #6 haven't said anything, but they did just tranfer from NY last week, so hopefully they took very good care of their gal in that office.
All in all I feel good about the day. Having had no expectations whatsoever, it was a very nice day!
They can be taught!
Last year, my main (#1) boss called to apologize at the end of the day for forgetting all about it. He said he would make it up to me, he appreciated all my hard work, and would do something really nice. He then promptly forgot all about it. Had he just forgotten to begin with, I wouldn't have cared a bit. However, making a promise, then forgetting is never acceptable to me.
This year two of my other bosses (#4 & #5) approached me and invited me out to lunch. As nice as that is, I was so nervous. What could we possibly have to say to each other? It turned out quite nice and more relaxed than I expected. I truly tried to have topics of conversation other than my kids, but they just kept asking me about those munchkins. As we were leaving, my main boss apologized for not taking me to lunch. He was rushing out early to take care of details before his wife has a baby tomorrow. Ok Mr., you're excused- this time! Well, when I returned he was gone, but there was a nice card with an even nicer note and a check! That's more like it! The note really means the most since he actually put some thought into it. A little appreciation goes a loooooong way.
A fourth boss (#3 actually) has ignored the day completely. See the Memo in another post to get feel for this guy. He did call to speak with Boss #1, asking if he would be out tomorrow. Me- "No, his wife is having the baby tomorrow." Boss #3- "Yeah, I know. I was just wondering." Really? Do you really think he will be here while his wife gives birth? What a bozo! Bosses #2 and #6 haven't said anything, but they did just tranfer from NY last week, so hopefully they took very good care of their gal in that office.
All in all I feel good about the day. Having had no expectations whatsoever, it was a very nice day!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Wheezy McGee hits the road
Well, it certainly looks like Logan got my genes. Although he hasn't officially been diagnosed with asthma, it is pretty clear. He does fine as long as we continue the nebulizer treatments, but is wheezing within a couple days of stopping the medication. The pediatrician had two recommendations for us. The first one is to get Logan away from the cats for a week. He suggested going to my inlaws for a week or taking a vacation. Hmmm... I wonder what we'd rather do.... So, we are planning a vacation! The second recommendation is to see an allergist. We are happy to do that, as we feel like we aren't getting to the root of the problem, just treating symptoms, rather than trying find out why he is having trouble.
So, vacation...
We are talking about renting a motor home and hitting the road! I'm really excited as we haven't had a vacation in about 3 years. Well, we did go to Chicago for a family reunion for a few days, but it was a whirlwind, with little time to see the sights. A few years ago we went to Hawaii for a family wedding, but it was a whirlwind with little time to see the sights. See a theme here? This way, we can see the sights at our leisure with no other family obligations, cook some meals as we want, etc... I think it will be really fun! It was Fillip's idea, and a great one.
So, vacation...
We are talking about renting a motor home and hitting the road! I'm really excited as we haven't had a vacation in about 3 years. Well, we did go to Chicago for a family reunion for a few days, but it was a whirlwind, with little time to see the sights. A few years ago we went to Hawaii for a family wedding, but it was a whirlwind with little time to see the sights. See a theme here? This way, we can see the sights at our leisure with no other family obligations, cook some meals as we want, etc... I think it will be really fun! It was Fillip's idea, and a great one.
Passover cont'd
Saturday we made the long journey for another seder at my mom's house. Despite a rough beginning, this was the most enjoyable of the bunch.
The first two hours of our ride were filled with alternate yelling by Fillip and Hayden. We tried to time the trip so that both boys would nap for most of the ride, but Hayden hadn't agreed to that plan. After two hours, we decided he was up for the duration and we may as well get lunch. Well, an entire hamburger patty and some french fried induced a very effective food coma in our little guy, who fell sound asleep still clutching his french fries. Phew! At one point, he started to stir, ate the french fries in his hand, licked his fingers, then passed back out, having never even opened his eyes. Fillip almost crashed the car from laughing so hard!
At my mom's Hayden was free to run once again, at least for a few minutes. Papa Arnie was greeted with "ride Papa's cart!" So, Papa Arnie immediately took Hayden for a ride in the golf cart. Nothing like a dose of grandparents to spoil a kid! I guess that's their privelege, and a fun part about being a kid. Both boys did really great. Hayden wowed the relatives with his piety. As soon as the candle lighting begins, he covers his eyes "Shabbat style" and says the blessing over the wine. He then gives a very solemn Amen, and looks around like we should all do the same. My little mensch. Very funny. My mom was kvelling. The seder is more like highlights of a seder and lasted about 30 mins. When it comes to drinking your four glasses of wine, you've got to really keep up! Fillip was having a good time in that arena and it was a fun time overall. Desserts were delicious (a nice change from the awful Passover desserts of my childhood) and I was very happy to be there. The drive home was long and very late, but worth it, I think.
We have a few more days of Passover, but things are pretty routine now except for the dietary restrictions. It is only 8 days, but I want a bagel so bad!!! The holiday is actually forcing me to eat a bit healthier since I don't like matzah. Instead of a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast, I am having a yogurt and fruit. For lunch I get a salad (well, except yesterday when my salad was accompanied by a loaded baked potato.) Maybe I'll lose those last few pounds after all.
The first two hours of our ride were filled with alternate yelling by Fillip and Hayden. We tried to time the trip so that both boys would nap for most of the ride, but Hayden hadn't agreed to that plan. After two hours, we decided he was up for the duration and we may as well get lunch. Well, an entire hamburger patty and some french fried induced a very effective food coma in our little guy, who fell sound asleep still clutching his french fries. Phew! At one point, he started to stir, ate the french fries in his hand, licked his fingers, then passed back out, having never even opened his eyes. Fillip almost crashed the car from laughing so hard!
At my mom's Hayden was free to run once again, at least for a few minutes. Papa Arnie was greeted with "ride Papa's cart!" So, Papa Arnie immediately took Hayden for a ride in the golf cart. Nothing like a dose of grandparents to spoil a kid! I guess that's their privelege, and a fun part about being a kid. Both boys did really great. Hayden wowed the relatives with his piety. As soon as the candle lighting begins, he covers his eyes "Shabbat style" and says the blessing over the wine. He then gives a very solemn Amen, and looks around like we should all do the same. My little mensch. Very funny. My mom was kvelling. The seder is more like highlights of a seder and lasted about 30 mins. When it comes to drinking your four glasses of wine, you've got to really keep up! Fillip was having a good time in that arena and it was a fun time overall. Desserts were delicious (a nice change from the awful Passover desserts of my childhood) and I was very happy to be there. The drive home was long and very late, but worth it, I think.
We have a few more days of Passover, but things are pretty routine now except for the dietary restrictions. It is only 8 days, but I want a bagel so bad!!! The holiday is actually forcing me to eat a bit healthier since I don't like matzah. Instead of a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast, I am having a yogurt and fruit. For lunch I get a salad (well, except yesterday when my salad was accompanied by a loaded baked potato.) Maybe I'll lose those last few pounds after all.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Passover recap
Last night was the second night of Passover. I'm beat.
The first night:
I think there were about 30 pp at the seder. Fillip's Aunt made a whole thing before hand about "squeezing in" the kids. We even brought our own chair for Logan. You know, "the family is growing so rapidly, and I really like to include my friends too." We were seated off to the side, where we couldn't see or hear a thing. Seems to me the reason you do this is to keep the tradition going by teaching the kids. When they can't see or hear what is going on, they are just bored sitting there for 2 hours for no good reason. When you are asked to arrived promptly at 5:30pm, you don't expect dinner to be served after nine. The kids were going crazy from being hungry and tired. Fillip's Aunt seemed put out and surprised when I finally went into the kitchen to make Hayden a plate. I found the brisket and gave him a tiny bit and she said "well, isn't that enough for him? He ate his hard boiled egg, right?" WTF?! No, that's not enough. We generally give our kid a full meal, which he eats when he isn't so tired he could drop. Not only do we give him food, we also give him a plate, a fork and a napkin- which I had to practically beg her for, item by item. Does she think we just put him and Logan on the floor and throw food at them like dogs?
Can you tell I'm kinda pissed? I am really ticked about the whole thing. Fillip's bro joked that we should have our own seder next year. That sounds great.
Last night was better, but still such a late evening. Also, Hayden was already overtired from the night before, so chances of avoiding a meltdown (our goal for most outings) was next to nothing.
The second night:
This Aunt was much more mindful of having kids. Instead of gourmet eggplant or trout spreads, she had fruit gel candies, which we got in trouble for trying to curtail the kids' consumption of. She provided Passover placemats with markers to give the little ones something to do. She approached me and asked if Hayden was hungry, bringing him a matzoh ball. She truly went beyond what anyone could expect of a very busy hostess to make us feel welcome and accomodate little kids. The fact that it was still late is just the nature of things, and we ate much earlier than the previous evening.
Overall, I think Hayden had a good time, aside from the seder. He loves playing with his cousins and was running around chasing after all of them. After dinner, the tradition is for the kids to find the afikomin (a hidden piece of matzah, symbolizing dessert. We get actual dessert after all is said and done.) Since obviously Hayden had no clue what was going on, I got to help! The excitement of the kids was contagious and he eagerly ran to go look for whatever we said was hidden. I instructed him to look under this and that, and all of a sudden I saw that white paper towel peeking out from under magazines. "Hayden, that's what you are looking for. Pull it out!" He hesitantly grabbed it (being far more used to instructions not to touch anything rather than pillaging an unfamiliar living room) and held it up. It was like Charlie finding the Golden Ticket. Hayden found it! Hayden found it! Go give it to Uncle Marvin! Off we went to hand in the prize. Uncle Marvin handed over $20! Wowzers! I used to get $2 back in the day. Hayden doesn't know $2 from $20, but he does like having money. In Fillip's family, the winner gives part of the winnings to each kids who searched (guess when you only get two bucks, not much to go around, but with twenty, its a different story.) So Hayden was given one dollar bills, and handed them to each kid. It was very cute. I especially liked when my 5 year old nephew patted him on the back saying "Good job Hayden. That was really good." What a good sport!
Although that was toward the end of the evening, it definitely lightened things up, as we were no longer having to sit still and quiet (well, there was an attempt to achieve this, but it didn't fly too well.) We were told what angels our children are, even by those sitting next to us. By the time we got home we were absolutely exhausted.
btw- Lest anyone think I have forgotten about Logan, he was great. He charmed the relatives endlessly with his latest schtick. He ate his dinner and played until the end of the seder. At that point he started to get cranky, so I changed him into jammies, gave him a good washdown with the wipes (did Fillip bathe him in Gerber chicken and rice? His face, hands and chest were completely encrusted), and tucked him in to his carrier to go to sleep. He was so tired and, I think, relieved to go to sleep. I stayed with him a few mins, as he kept checking to make sure I was there. I find that sweet and am happy to indulge him, especially when the house is unfamiliar. (While I was peacefully getting Logan undressed and to sleep, Fillip and Hayden were battling in the hallway over Hayden crumbling his matzah all over the floor, for the third time!)
My MIL has the joy of taking care of my most likely cranky boys today. Lucky her! Lucky us in that we aren't having Shabbat dinner tonight. We need a night off from large, late family gatherings. Our last seder is tomorrow evening at my mom's house. The seder itself will be much shorter, but the drive is almost 3 hours each way. Hopefully, the boys will sleep most of the way. Hopefully, I will sleep sometime in the next decade.
The first night:
I think there were about 30 pp at the seder. Fillip's Aunt made a whole thing before hand about "squeezing in" the kids. We even brought our own chair for Logan. You know, "the family is growing so rapidly, and I really like to include my friends too." We were seated off to the side, where we couldn't see or hear a thing. Seems to me the reason you do this is to keep the tradition going by teaching the kids. When they can't see or hear what is going on, they are just bored sitting there for 2 hours for no good reason. When you are asked to arrived promptly at 5:30pm, you don't expect dinner to be served after nine. The kids were going crazy from being hungry and tired. Fillip's Aunt seemed put out and surprised when I finally went into the kitchen to make Hayden a plate. I found the brisket and gave him a tiny bit and she said "well, isn't that enough for him? He ate his hard boiled egg, right?" WTF?! No, that's not enough. We generally give our kid a full meal, which he eats when he isn't so tired he could drop. Not only do we give him food, we also give him a plate, a fork and a napkin- which I had to practically beg her for, item by item. Does she think we just put him and Logan on the floor and throw food at them like dogs?
Can you tell I'm kinda pissed? I am really ticked about the whole thing. Fillip's bro joked that we should have our own seder next year. That sounds great.
Last night was better, but still such a late evening. Also, Hayden was already overtired from the night before, so chances of avoiding a meltdown (our goal for most outings) was next to nothing.
The second night:
This Aunt was much more mindful of having kids. Instead of gourmet eggplant or trout spreads, she had fruit gel candies, which we got in trouble for trying to curtail the kids' consumption of. She provided Passover placemats with markers to give the little ones something to do. She approached me and asked if Hayden was hungry, bringing him a matzoh ball. She truly went beyond what anyone could expect of a very busy hostess to make us feel welcome and accomodate little kids. The fact that it was still late is just the nature of things, and we ate much earlier than the previous evening.
Overall, I think Hayden had a good time, aside from the seder. He loves playing with his cousins and was running around chasing after all of them. After dinner, the tradition is for the kids to find the afikomin (a hidden piece of matzah, symbolizing dessert. We get actual dessert after all is said and done.) Since obviously Hayden had no clue what was going on, I got to help! The excitement of the kids was contagious and he eagerly ran to go look for whatever we said was hidden. I instructed him to look under this and that, and all of a sudden I saw that white paper towel peeking out from under magazines. "Hayden, that's what you are looking for. Pull it out!" He hesitantly grabbed it (being far more used to instructions not to touch anything rather than pillaging an unfamiliar living room) and held it up. It was like Charlie finding the Golden Ticket. Hayden found it! Hayden found it! Go give it to Uncle Marvin! Off we went to hand in the prize. Uncle Marvin handed over $20! Wowzers! I used to get $2 back in the day. Hayden doesn't know $2 from $20, but he does like having money. In Fillip's family, the winner gives part of the winnings to each kids who searched (guess when you only get two bucks, not much to go around, but with twenty, its a different story.) So Hayden was given one dollar bills, and handed them to each kid. It was very cute. I especially liked when my 5 year old nephew patted him on the back saying "Good job Hayden. That was really good." What a good sport!
Although that was toward the end of the evening, it definitely lightened things up, as we were no longer having to sit still and quiet (well, there was an attempt to achieve this, but it didn't fly too well.) We were told what angels our children are, even by those sitting next to us. By the time we got home we were absolutely exhausted.
btw- Lest anyone think I have forgotten about Logan, he was great. He charmed the relatives endlessly with his latest schtick. He ate his dinner and played until the end of the seder. At that point he started to get cranky, so I changed him into jammies, gave him a good washdown with the wipes (did Fillip bathe him in Gerber chicken and rice? His face, hands and chest were completely encrusted), and tucked him in to his carrier to go to sleep. He was so tired and, I think, relieved to go to sleep. I stayed with him a few mins, as he kept checking to make sure I was there. I find that sweet and am happy to indulge him, especially when the house is unfamiliar. (While I was peacefully getting Logan undressed and to sleep, Fillip and Hayden were battling in the hallway over Hayden crumbling his matzah all over the floor, for the third time!)
My MIL has the joy of taking care of my most likely cranky boys today. Lucky her! Lucky us in that we aren't having Shabbat dinner tonight. We need a night off from large, late family gatherings. Our last seder is tomorrow evening at my mom's house. The seder itself will be much shorter, but the drive is almost 3 hours each way. Hopefully, the boys will sleep most of the way. Hopefully, I will sleep sometime in the next decade.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
I'm pitiful
After two years, you would think I could handle the separation anxiety of dropping the kids off at daycare. I was soooo cocky about my delight in staying home sick. Oh yeah, I'm gonna have a grand ol' time! Yeah, well, have I mentioned my feeling that mommies don't get sick time? Dh happened to oversleep this morning, and with his infected elbow can't easily lift the kids so he couldn't take them in the shower (as agreed, or I would have bathed them last night) and now didn't have time to take them to school. So, of course, I get to. Hello! I'm home sick here!
Anyway, off we go to school. I drop Hayden in his classroom and say I will be back in a few mins to say goodbye. Logan's classroom is hopping with Old School rap, dancing babies and teachers, and all kinds of fun. (Gee, I wish I could remember what song it was, because it just struck me as so funny to see those babies bopping to that.) Apparantly Logan can stand by himself holding onto something, which I didn't even know! (Last night he actually stood for a few seconds completely on his own. Eek!) I got all his stuff put away then went to say bye to him and of course he decided to pull all the Mommy heartstrings by getting sad each time I tried to walk away. I wanted to just scoop him up and take him back home with me! I finally pulled myself away (I'm sure he just went back to happily playing once he saw it didn't work, little stinker) and went to say bye to Hayden who said "I wan go home." What? Why? Of course, as soon as he realized Miss Carmen would give him more cheese, he was happy to stay, but oh I wanted to just take them both.
All the way home I was so sad and thinking why I am I doing this? I don't need to be away from them today. I'm home and they can be with me. But, I am home because I need to rest and finally get better. If I would just stop and catch my breath once in awhile, I may not be feeling so miserable now. So, I am sad, but alone. Chances are I will go pick them early. They are just too cute to leave all day! Why should their teachers have all the fun!
btw- You'd better believe we will be playing some of that rap at home! Sure beats kids' music ALL the time.
Anyway, off we go to school. I drop Hayden in his classroom and say I will be back in a few mins to say goodbye. Logan's classroom is hopping with Old School rap, dancing babies and teachers, and all kinds of fun. (Gee, I wish I could remember what song it was, because it just struck me as so funny to see those babies bopping to that.) Apparantly Logan can stand by himself holding onto something, which I didn't even know! (Last night he actually stood for a few seconds completely on his own. Eek!) I got all his stuff put away then went to say bye to him and of course he decided to pull all the Mommy heartstrings by getting sad each time I tried to walk away. I wanted to just scoop him up and take him back home with me! I finally pulled myself away (I'm sure he just went back to happily playing once he saw it didn't work, little stinker) and went to say bye to Hayden who said "I wan go home." What? Why? Of course, as soon as he realized Miss Carmen would give him more cheese, he was happy to stay, but oh I wanted to just take them both.
All the way home I was so sad and thinking why I am I doing this? I don't need to be away from them today. I'm home and they can be with me. But, I am home because I need to rest and finally get better. If I would just stop and catch my breath once in awhile, I may not be feeling so miserable now. So, I am sad, but alone. Chances are I will go pick them early. They are just too cute to leave all day! Why should their teachers have all the fun!
btw- You'd better believe we will be playing some of that rap at home! Sure beats kids' music ALL the time.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Our latest
**actually written a couple days ago, but just got around to posting**
Hayden got glowing reports from school last week and was a total pill with my MIL today. He even came home with a bruised eye. Not quite sure what happened there, but he seems fine. He is very loud these days and we are constantly telling him to use a softer voice. He is also very bossy, especially to the cats - "Get out under table, kitty!!" "Get out Hayden's room, kitty!!" "No pitting (spitting) Yogan!!" It's hard to distinguish between Logan's cute raspberries and Hayden's obnoxious spitting. ::) Fortunately, despite all that he is so cute these days playing with trains and cars, inviting us to join in. I never knew how much I would enjoy this age. He makes up songs and requests books, insists on hugs AND kisses from everyone.
Logan is a cutie and I adore this age. He is now clapping, especially with the encouragement of Hayden. On his belly he pushes up, kinda gets to knees, but does a good job pushing himself backward, although he doesn't really motor around much yet. He is babbling and loves all different toys. Hayden has a Little People Racetrack that Logan thinks is a game of catch. Each time the car comes around Logan tries to grab it, infuriating Hayden. "No baby!!!" Hayden then resets it, gases it up, and they start again. It's very funny. Until this latest ear infection, I would say Logan was an excellent eater. Now, it is getting better again, but not fabulous. He loves cereal, likes fruits and veggies and HATES meat. Who's kid is this?! Once he can eat soft solids, we will make him some since I agree the jar stuff is nasty.
Hayden is the only well one in our house. Fillip has some weird infection in his elbow. It is swollen to the size of a baseball and the dermatologist he saw today said to see an orthopedist asap, which he is doing in the morning. Logan is recovering from he ear infection, and doesn't seem to be wheezing so we have cut down the meds, and I have strep throat. I came to a bit of a sad realization a little while ago. As truly miserable as I am, I'm a bit happy to be sick. I don't get "sick days" at home since I almost ALWAYS get up with the kids. Domestic obligations can be overwhelming to say the least. So, these last couple days I have been going back to bed and taking naps. Normally I regret any time away from the kids that isn't work or otherwise absolutely necessary. I take one or both everywhere, and rarely take time to relax on my own. Once a month I go to book club for a couple hours, but that is it. This is purely by choice, as I am often encouraged by dh to do otherwise, and lately to go on a trip, which is a whole other topic. Lately I had been so rundown, a bit resentful, and desperately needing some time. So, it isn't surprising a) that I have been so sick these last couple weeks with pink eye twice, an ongoing cold, and now strep and b) I am so happy to be out of work tomorrow with time to myself. I feel a bit guilty, not for giving up time I could have with the kids, but for the joy I am taking in that time.
Hayden got glowing reports from school last week and was a total pill with my MIL today. He even came home with a bruised eye. Not quite sure what happened there, but he seems fine. He is very loud these days and we are constantly telling him to use a softer voice. He is also very bossy, especially to the cats - "Get out under table, kitty!!" "Get out Hayden's room, kitty!!" "No pitting (spitting) Yogan!!" It's hard to distinguish between Logan's cute raspberries and Hayden's obnoxious spitting. ::) Fortunately, despite all that he is so cute these days playing with trains and cars, inviting us to join in. I never knew how much I would enjoy this age. He makes up songs and requests books, insists on hugs AND kisses from everyone.
Logan is a cutie and I adore this age. He is now clapping, especially with the encouragement of Hayden. On his belly he pushes up, kinda gets to knees, but does a good job pushing himself backward, although he doesn't really motor around much yet. He is babbling and loves all different toys. Hayden has a Little People Racetrack that Logan thinks is a game of catch. Each time the car comes around Logan tries to grab it, infuriating Hayden. "No baby!!!" Hayden then resets it, gases it up, and they start again. It's very funny. Until this latest ear infection, I would say Logan was an excellent eater. Now, it is getting better again, but not fabulous. He loves cereal, likes fruits and veggies and HATES meat. Who's kid is this?! Once he can eat soft solids, we will make him some since I agree the jar stuff is nasty.
Hayden is the only well one in our house. Fillip has some weird infection in his elbow. It is swollen to the size of a baseball and the dermatologist he saw today said to see an orthopedist asap, which he is doing in the morning. Logan is recovering from he ear infection, and doesn't seem to be wheezing so we have cut down the meds, and I have strep throat. I came to a bit of a sad realization a little while ago. As truly miserable as I am, I'm a bit happy to be sick. I don't get "sick days" at home since I almost ALWAYS get up with the kids. Domestic obligations can be overwhelming to say the least. So, these last couple days I have been going back to bed and taking naps. Normally I regret any time away from the kids that isn't work or otherwise absolutely necessary. I take one or both everywhere, and rarely take time to relax on my own. Once a month I go to book club for a couple hours, but that is it. This is purely by choice, as I am often encouraged by dh to do otherwise, and lately to go on a trip, which is a whole other topic. Lately I had been so rundown, a bit resentful, and desperately needing some time. So, it isn't surprising a) that I have been so sick these last couple weeks with pink eye twice, an ongoing cold, and now strep and b) I am so happy to be out of work tomorrow with time to myself. I feel a bit guilty, not for giving up time I could have with the kids, but for the joy I am taking in that time.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Lame.
I just want to cry. My days at work have become ridiculously stressful (see below memo). I'm on the go all the time, had to go to the Unhappiest Place on Earth at lunch (DMV), I've been sick for days, had to throw out all my makeup because I got pinkeye again, and now, the treat I looked forward to all day, my big red delicious looking strawberries-
are moldy.
Lame.
are moldy.
Lame.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Memo to my boss
MEMO
____________________________________________________________
TO: Boss #2 of 4 (soon to be #3 of 6)
FROM: Your dedicated assistant
RE: Office etiquette
____________________________________________________________
FYI- That black thing I am holding to my ear is called a telephone. If I am holding it to my ear, that means I am talking with someone on the other end. If that is the case, go away!! I'm not available. Otherwise, please say "excuse me" so I can put that person on hold and find out what you need. If you are just curious as to what I am currently doing, well, I am talking on the phone! That is a big part of my job as I answer calls for all you who are just simply too busy to pick up that black thing by yourself. and yes, I do have personal calls too. Deal with it.
Also, I am more than happy to help you with any reasonable request. Being an assistant, that is the very description of my job- assisting. However, when I tell you that I am not authorized to move your 401K, take official fingerprints being not certified by the Dept of Justice, or am just too damn busy to make the same copies (again!) of expense reports from your former company, know that I mean no disprespect, but it's just not going to happen. Anything I am able to help you with, I can and do, including personal reservations, travel, newspaper clippings, getting your lunch, toasting your bagel, wiping your ass, etc...
Please don't hold me responsible for keeping track of receipts you hand me while I am being taken out by someone else for my birthday. Contrary to popular belief, I don't keep a file folder on me at all times and if you hand it to me on the way back from lunch, it will likely stay in the pocket of that coat, that ultimately I will leave at someone else's house for weeks on end. Maybe you could try just paying for your own lunch now and then, rather than meeting your buddy and always billing it to the company as a business meeting. Better yet, maybe you could buy my lunch as thanks for being your personal slave 5 days a week.
Just so I don't seem completely ungrateful to work for such a great guy as you-
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate the fact that you have let me know it is ok for me to take some time to enter the 100+ business cards into your Contact list that you have been collecting (while working for another company!) for the last 3 years. It is so considerate for you to mention that it doesn't need to be done in the next hour, and I may do it as I have time.
I know you will eventually realize that you are not the senior guy I support, a more senior guy is coming in, and 5 people besides you want my assistance- right now! Kindly respect our professional boundaries, my work ethic and personal integrity. I will get it done when I can, at my earliest convenience.
In conclusion- back off asshole. You're driving me crazy!!
____________________________________________________________
TO: Boss #2 of 4 (soon to be #3 of 6)
FROM: Your dedicated assistant
RE: Office etiquette
____________________________________________________________
FYI- That black thing I am holding to my ear is called a telephone. If I am holding it to my ear, that means I am talking with someone on the other end. If that is the case, go away!! I'm not available. Otherwise, please say "excuse me" so I can put that person on hold and find out what you need. If you are just curious as to what I am currently doing, well, I am talking on the phone! That is a big part of my job as I answer calls for all you who are just simply too busy to pick up that black thing by yourself. and yes, I do have personal calls too. Deal with it.
Also, I am more than happy to help you with any reasonable request. Being an assistant, that is the very description of my job- assisting. However, when I tell you that I am not authorized to move your 401K, take official fingerprints being not certified by the Dept of Justice, or am just too damn busy to make the same copies (again!) of expense reports from your former company, know that I mean no disprespect, but it's just not going to happen. Anything I am able to help you with, I can and do, including personal reservations, travel, newspaper clippings, getting your lunch, toasting your bagel, wiping your ass, etc...
Please don't hold me responsible for keeping track of receipts you hand me while I am being taken out by someone else for my birthday. Contrary to popular belief, I don't keep a file folder on me at all times and if you hand it to me on the way back from lunch, it will likely stay in the pocket of that coat, that ultimately I will leave at someone else's house for weeks on end. Maybe you could try just paying for your own lunch now and then, rather than meeting your buddy and always billing it to the company as a business meeting. Better yet, maybe you could buy my lunch as thanks for being your personal slave 5 days a week.
Just so I don't seem completely ungrateful to work for such a great guy as you-
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate the fact that you have let me know it is ok for me to take some time to enter the 100+ business cards into your Contact list that you have been collecting (while working for another company!) for the last 3 years. It is so considerate for you to mention that it doesn't need to be done in the next hour, and I may do it as I have time.
I know you will eventually realize that you are not the senior guy I support, a more senior guy is coming in, and 5 people besides you want my assistance- right now! Kindly respect our professional boundaries, my work ethic and personal integrity. I will get it done when I can, at my earliest convenience.
In conclusion- back off asshole. You're driving me crazy!!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
One Enchanted Evening
Last night was nearly perfect. I had the luxury of coming straight home from work, rather than taking an extra hour to pick up the kids. Fillip picked them up and brought them home. Before they got home, I had 10 whole minutes all by myself. No, I'm not being sarcastic. That was really great! My boys got home and the chaos began. Fillip made a delicious dinner- bbq'd tritip, fried baby potatoes, and brussel sprouts. Really, that's about as yummy as it gets for me. Mmmm! Hayden sat in his booster seat for awhile while Logan and I sat in the nursery sorting clothes. I have been meaning to do that for so long, that many of his 3-6mo sized are already too small before they came out of the bin. He's probably ready for 6-9mo, but I'll get to that in a couple weeks. The newborn stuff has been re-binned and is ready to be squeezed into the garage, or better yet my IL's attic. Hayden finished his snack and came in to "help" me put away clothes. I find it so cute to watch him figure stuff out. I was instructing him which drawer to open, pull some stuff off the top to get it to fit, and put the extra in the next drawer down. All went fine until he bumped his head, then hysterics and happiness at getting to put a bag of frozen hashbrowns on the wound. (didn't happen to have any peas). Logan was happily playing through all this, grabbing folded jammies faster than I could fold them. Between him, and Hayden's haphazard putting away, I don't know that there is one folded garment in that armoire. Just can't get good help these days ;)
We sat down for dinner. Hayden was so tired, and was not the best eater. Logan didn't seem hungry either, but at least was content to sit with us in his highchair. I made up for both of them, devouring the delicious dinner my hubby had made. (I really love to eat!) Toward the end of dinner, I asked Hayden if he wanted to go for a walk and he said he did. Fillip got a sad look and said he had wanted to play with Hayden with all our train sets. Since it was nearly dark, I quickly set off for a brisk walk- again all by myself! I was only gone 12 mins, but it felt so good. What I didn't know until I returned was poor Hayden was heartbroken at not joining me. I thought he would have more fun with the trains, but he was crushed. I felt so bad to have offered, then let him down. He had cried the whole time I was gone and talked about wanting to go for a walk the rest of the night. I repeatedly apologized for hurting his feelings and said we would go for a walk another time. I'll try to do that tonight.
Fillip had filled up our living room with trains and it was like Grand Central Station in there. Logan was so happy to be in the middle of it all, babbling, waving his arms and kicking his feet. Any piece of track within his reach was fair game and he was pulling it apart faster than Fillip could put it together. Seeing a theme with this guy? Hayden was busy helping again, wanting to do it himself and taking pieces from Fillip. Between the activity of all three and the trains going round and round, and all the track and pieces, it was chaos. I whipped out the video camera and sat down to enjoy the show. It doesn't get any better than that for me with happy chaos and all of us together like that.
It didn't take long for tired Hayden to completely meltdown. This is the not-so-perfect part of the night. He just couldn't keep it together and sadly cried himself to sleep. I hate that as bedtime us usually a very easy, peaceful time. However, I recognize that sometimes I just can't help, and last night was one of those times. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses despite the tears and "No!s" I was getting for my efforts. Once he was asleep, I went in for another snuggle. What makes me really sad about those times is that Logan still needs my attention to get him to bed, so Hayden doesn't get the individual coddling I might otherwise have given. Fillip was out running errands, and Logan needed to be nursed. Those times make me feel so torn between a hungry sleepy infant and a sad, overtired toddler. There are worse things in life though, and we got through it .
After the kids were in bed, I spent a very productive 45 mins scaling Mt. Laundry. The clean clothes are nearly all put away, and I promptly fell asleep at the foot of the bed with a happy cat. Fillip set up a fishtank while I was folding, so it was nice productive time spent together. (By the time I collapsed, he was in the other room oblivious.) I woke and managed a shower and even some rare reading time. Couldn't tell you what I read, but I know I did.
As mundane as all this is, it really was a great evening. Time to play with the kids, time to get some productive housework done, a delicious homemade dinner, time with hubby and time to myself. Doesn't get much better than that!
We sat down for dinner. Hayden was so tired, and was not the best eater. Logan didn't seem hungry either, but at least was content to sit with us in his highchair. I made up for both of them, devouring the delicious dinner my hubby had made. (I really love to eat!) Toward the end of dinner, I asked Hayden if he wanted to go for a walk and he said he did. Fillip got a sad look and said he had wanted to play with Hayden with all our train sets. Since it was nearly dark, I quickly set off for a brisk walk- again all by myself! I was only gone 12 mins, but it felt so good. What I didn't know until I returned was poor Hayden was heartbroken at not joining me. I thought he would have more fun with the trains, but he was crushed. I felt so bad to have offered, then let him down. He had cried the whole time I was gone and talked about wanting to go for a walk the rest of the night. I repeatedly apologized for hurting his feelings and said we would go for a walk another time. I'll try to do that tonight.
Fillip had filled up our living room with trains and it was like Grand Central Station in there. Logan was so happy to be in the middle of it all, babbling, waving his arms and kicking his feet. Any piece of track within his reach was fair game and he was pulling it apart faster than Fillip could put it together. Seeing a theme with this guy? Hayden was busy helping again, wanting to do it himself and taking pieces from Fillip. Between the activity of all three and the trains going round and round, and all the track and pieces, it was chaos. I whipped out the video camera and sat down to enjoy the show. It doesn't get any better than that for me with happy chaos and all of us together like that.
It didn't take long for tired Hayden to completely meltdown. This is the not-so-perfect part of the night. He just couldn't keep it together and sadly cried himself to sleep. I hate that as bedtime us usually a very easy, peaceful time. However, I recognize that sometimes I just can't help, and last night was one of those times. I gave him lots of hugs and kisses despite the tears and "No!s" I was getting for my efforts. Once he was asleep, I went in for another snuggle. What makes me really sad about those times is that Logan still needs my attention to get him to bed, so Hayden doesn't get the individual coddling I might otherwise have given. Fillip was out running errands, and Logan needed to be nursed. Those times make me feel so torn between a hungry sleepy infant and a sad, overtired toddler. There are worse things in life though, and we got through it .
After the kids were in bed, I spent a very productive 45 mins scaling Mt. Laundry. The clean clothes are nearly all put away, and I promptly fell asleep at the foot of the bed with a happy cat. Fillip set up a fishtank while I was folding, so it was nice productive time spent together. (By the time I collapsed, he was in the other room oblivious.) I woke and managed a shower and even some rare reading time. Couldn't tell you what I read, but I know I did.
As mundane as all this is, it really was a great evening. Time to play with the kids, time to get some productive housework done, a delicious homemade dinner, time with hubby and time to myself. Doesn't get much better than that!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
My double life
I just have to say, I am more in love with those boys every day. I know it's cliche, blah blah blah, but everyday I get to know each of them that much better. They learn something new, or give me an extra smile and I am so grateful to be their Mommy. Maybe I'm just overly sappy, but they really are so sweet. Hayden now sits through stories- hallelujah! I love it. He points out the characters and what's happening in the book. Logan is just adorable and more personality comes out all the time. I love post-bathtime when he is rolling around on the floor naked. He has such a chunky butt and thighs and is so funny! Hayden likes to snuggle in my lap in his towel for a few mins before getting dressed, but Logan likes his airtime.
Well, I better get crackin'. We have two new guys coming in from NY and guess who gets to support them...yup, me! That brings me to 6, really an unheard of number in this office. I already spoke with my boss and made sure I can come to him if it is too much. Hopefully, since one is only two weeks in LA, the other in NY, his current asst will still take care of the majority of his stuff. We'll see how it goes. It's not like I have anything else going on, right?
Well, I better get crackin'. We have two new guys coming in from NY and guess who gets to support them...yup, me! That brings me to 6, really an unheard of number in this office. I already spoke with my boss and made sure I can come to him if it is too much. Hopefully, since one is only two weeks in LA, the other in NY, his current asst will still take care of the majority of his stuff. We'll see how it goes. It's not like I have anything else going on, right?
Friday, March 24, 2006
Panic!
So, anyone who reads this likey already knows that I am obsessed by my chat board. Apparantly my office caught on because it is now a restricted site! Aaah! Now what I am supposed to do when I am on mind-numbing hold for hours just to set up someone else's mobile phone? How can I keep in touch when I haven't a spare moment at home. Now that I can't keep up at work, I will be forced to be more than efficient, making my co-workers look bad, creating interpersonal stress and low morale. It is the demise of work as I know it. Well, at least I can come here!!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The spice of life
We seem to have a little southpaw. I'm left handed, and never considered that it would make me so happy for him to be too. I'll take a side of the ego-centrism please!
This weekend we me and the boys went to my Mom's house and the Children's Discovery Museum. Since we had hardly slept the night before (at my mom's house and the boys kept waking each other all night) Hayden was far from his most charming self, and a bit of a pill most of the time. He did have fun running around though.The Children's Discovery Museum is full of interactive exhibits and it was a really neat place. Hayden loved the electric, stringless harp, and the floor piano. I had Logan in the Baby Bjorn and Hayden kept running around across the piano calling "C'mon Mommy!" Well, who could resist an invitation like that so Logan and I were bouncing across it too. I don't know who had the most fun- running Hayden, bouncing giggling Logan, or my Mom who was doubled over laughing at the whole scene. I for one was exhausted! by the time we left, Hayden had goopy drippy eyes. I thought he had pink eye, but it cleared up on its own, thank goodness!
I have worried that to Hayden, Grandma means my MIL, not my Mom, but I think now he now gets it. Arnie took Hayden for rides in his golf cart and they all had such a great time. I even took a 2 hour nap Sat while they took care of the kids. What a luxury! Hayden woke during my nap in his shirt and diaper. I sent him to mom w/ his arms full of shoes and pants. He looked so cute, and a bit pitiful being sent off like that. Mom thought it was adorable, and he had a great time with them. The ride home was long (2 1/2 hrs) and with Hayden whining and Logan intermittantly crying the last 45 mins, we were so glad to be home. The boys were thrilled to see Fillip and I think the weekend away was good for us as we spent a nice quiet evening together after the kids were in bed.
Aside from the weekend, Logan has been consistently sleeping the night for over a week now. Yea!! I was worried that he would regress when we returned since he nursed both nights in the desert, but last Sunday and last night were fine. What a good boy! On Friday, the doc all but diagnosed asthma, and I am so bummed about it. I really didn't want my little guys to have to deal with that. So he is back on nebulizer treatments. He absolutely hates it and so do I. Fillip is much better at it, and last night Logan fell asleep during the treatment. It was very sweet.
With a bridal shower and mom's birthday on Saturday, I have two important cakes to make. Hayden "helped" me bake last night. which I just love. He really liked operating the mixer. Mom's cake is from scratch so there are a lot of things to add then alternate which means a lot of turning the mixer on and off. Logan started crying so I left Hayden on the stepstool w/ the mixer with repeated instruction not to touch it. He didn't, but I came back to find him "seasoning" Grandma's cake. So she is having a rich chocolate jellyroll cake w/ orange cream cheese frosting and a hint of basil. Mmmm....
This weekend we me and the boys went to my Mom's house and the Children's Discovery Museum. Since we had hardly slept the night before (at my mom's house and the boys kept waking each other all night) Hayden was far from his most charming self, and a bit of a pill most of the time. He did have fun running around though.The Children's Discovery Museum is full of interactive exhibits and it was a really neat place. Hayden loved the electric, stringless harp, and the floor piano. I had Logan in the Baby Bjorn and Hayden kept running around across the piano calling "C'mon Mommy!" Well, who could resist an invitation like that so Logan and I were bouncing across it too. I don't know who had the most fun- running Hayden, bouncing giggling Logan, or my Mom who was doubled over laughing at the whole scene. I for one was exhausted! by the time we left, Hayden had goopy drippy eyes. I thought he had pink eye, but it cleared up on its own, thank goodness!
I have worried that to Hayden, Grandma means my MIL, not my Mom, but I think now he now gets it. Arnie took Hayden for rides in his golf cart and they all had such a great time. I even took a 2 hour nap Sat while they took care of the kids. What a luxury! Hayden woke during my nap in his shirt and diaper. I sent him to mom w/ his arms full of shoes and pants. He looked so cute, and a bit pitiful being sent off like that. Mom thought it was adorable, and he had a great time with them. The ride home was long (2 1/2 hrs) and with Hayden whining and Logan intermittantly crying the last 45 mins, we were so glad to be home. The boys were thrilled to see Fillip and I think the weekend away was good for us as we spent a nice quiet evening together after the kids were in bed.
Aside from the weekend, Logan has been consistently sleeping the night for over a week now. Yea!! I was worried that he would regress when we returned since he nursed both nights in the desert, but last Sunday and last night were fine. What a good boy! On Friday, the doc all but diagnosed asthma, and I am so bummed about it. I really didn't want my little guys to have to deal with that. So he is back on nebulizer treatments. He absolutely hates it and so do I. Fillip is much better at it, and last night Logan fell asleep during the treatment. It was very sweet.
With a bridal shower and mom's birthday on Saturday, I have two important cakes to make. Hayden "helped" me bake last night. which I just love. He really liked operating the mixer. Mom's cake is from scratch so there are a lot of things to add then alternate which means a lot of turning the mixer on and off. Logan started crying so I left Hayden on the stepstool w/ the mixer with repeated instruction not to touch it. He didn't, but I came back to find him "seasoning" Grandma's cake. So she is having a rich chocolate jellyroll cake w/ orange cream cheese frosting and a hint of basil. Mmmm....
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Sweets for the (not so) sweet
Well, yesterday I went to give out treats to Hayden's class for his birthday. Since the school requires everything you bring to be store bought, I got little icecream cups. It's amazing how big and area those things can cover when a 2 yr old drips it on the floor! Hayden seemed to enjoy himself, and especially the big Elmo balloon I brought. The kids think birthdays are great because they mean more treats! For dinner we went to Chili's. Logan sat in the booster seat w/ tray and seemed to enjoy himself. He plowed through the jar of carrots I had brought, but was content to play with the paper coasters and his spoon during dinner. Although I told the server about Hayden's birthday, we chose not to make a fuss since he was so tired and ready to go by the end of the meal. I had mysteriously ticked off dh as well (still don't know what the problem was) so we were all ready to go. It would have been fun to see Hayden's reaction to the restaurant celebration, but he certainly didn't need any more sweets.
We get a lot of attention when we go out to eat. People always want to know how close in age our boys are, and then "top us" by saying their kids, or someone they know are closer. Thanks for sharing. It's not that I mind strangers coming over to our table to chat (ok, well maybe a little bit sometimes), but we don't really need commentary. It feels chaotic enought trying to keep a toddler and an infant happy and contained w/o the added distraction of superficial chitchat. I know, I don't sound very friendly. I do act nice to these people, just feel a bit relieved when they move on.
The last couple days Hayden has reverted to being the Tantrum King. I don't know why this is. It could be teething, or nothing at all. We are really looking forward to the return of his sweet disposition. Hopefully, the cuddly boy I spent time with this morning is back.
Logan slept through the night! Well, if you consider nursing at 11:30pm, then getting back up at 12:15am, and sleeping until 5:15am the entire night (and I do!) then he did! If only I could have slept. I went to bed at 10pm, so his near midnight meal was really rather disruptive. Then, the f-ing cat decided to meow and warble all night up and down the hall. If that weren't enough, dh was snoring like a lumberjack and got totally pissed off when I tried to get him to roll over. "What do you keep yelling stop about? I'm laying here with my eyes wide open trying to figure out what you want." Well, if your eyes are wide open, why are you snoring so loud?! and... why didn't you just ask me what I want. Sheesh!! Anyway...needless to say, this sleep deprivation routine is getting old.
We get a lot of attention when we go out to eat. People always want to know how close in age our boys are, and then "top us" by saying their kids, or someone they know are closer. Thanks for sharing. It's not that I mind strangers coming over to our table to chat (ok, well maybe a little bit sometimes), but we don't really need commentary. It feels chaotic enought trying to keep a toddler and an infant happy and contained w/o the added distraction of superficial chitchat. I know, I don't sound very friendly. I do act nice to these people, just feel a bit relieved when they move on.
The last couple days Hayden has reverted to being the Tantrum King. I don't know why this is. It could be teething, or nothing at all. We are really looking forward to the return of his sweet disposition. Hopefully, the cuddly boy I spent time with this morning is back.
Logan slept through the night! Well, if you consider nursing at 11:30pm, then getting back up at 12:15am, and sleeping until 5:15am the entire night (and I do!) then he did! If only I could have slept. I went to bed at 10pm, so his near midnight meal was really rather disruptive. Then, the f-ing cat decided to meow and warble all night up and down the hall. If that weren't enough, dh was snoring like a lumberjack and got totally pissed off when I tried to get him to roll over. "What do you keep yelling stop about? I'm laying here with my eyes wide open trying to figure out what you want." Well, if your eyes are wide open, why are you snoring so loud?! and... why didn't you just ask me what I want. Sheesh!! Anyway...needless to say, this sleep deprivation routine is getting old.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Hayden's 2nd birthday
Well, today's is my Hayden's 2nd birthday. Already!! I am bringing icecream to his class this afternoon I have always looked forward to being a "room Mom" and doing the little birthday parties. Unfortunately, the school has a policy that only allows store-bought treats, nothing homemade. That's a bummer, but I am still looking forward to bringing little icecream cups. We will have dinner at home, and I will get him some berries as a treat for dessert. With all the recent sweets, that is a better choice, and one he just loves. He's had little fruit lately as we got him well from the stomach bug.
I can't believe how these two years have flown by. Two years and a day ago seems like another lifetime. As I reviewed his birth story this morning, I couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. It just brought back those first moments of wonderment, where I met my son for the first time. In an instant I became a mother and our lives are forever enriched. It's hard to believe there was a time when my first and last thoughts of the day (and most of them throughout the day) weren't about my kids. Hayden is such a sweet child, so active, precocious, and endeared to all who know him. He will invite us to come play with him with a "c'mon Mommy! c'mon Daddy!" He is great at playing independently as well. These days he is a little mimick whether it is just a certain way we are sitting, or the way we are vacuuming the floor. He is so earnest in copying us and I just find it to be such a compliment. He is so sweet to Logan, always taking him into consideration, and very protective of him. If he thinks we are bugging him he will yell "no, Mommy!! no Daddy!" He tells us when he is crying, brings him toys and wants to kiss him all the time.
Daily I look at Hayden and revel in how gorgeous he is. His beautiful dark hair, slightly olive complexion and large sparkly green eyes are enhanced by his easy smile. Our house is full of giggles and footsteps. Of course, he is two so we get our fair share of whining, tantrums and "No!!" but who's complaining! These days we often hear "Hayden do it!" as he discovers how very independent he can be. At school, he jumps right in, despite being the youngest in his class. I can see how quickly he is learning as he sings more songs to us, counts with ease and initiates more games. He loves books, much to my delight and my favorite time of the day is bedtime with books and singing. He wants Logan involved too, so we are a happy bunch sitting cuddled up on Hayden's bed each night.
As cliche as it is, I couldn't have imagined the depth of feeling I have for my little guys. As Hayden gets older I love him more and more for the person he is becoming. I hope to always make him feel cherished, and proud of who he is. I want to raise a compassionate, confident man, while holding onto this sweet child. I know his childhood will fly by in an instant just as babyhood did so I try to enjoy every day of this fleeting moment in time.
I can't believe how these two years have flown by. Two years and a day ago seems like another lifetime. As I reviewed his birth story this morning, I couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. It just brought back those first moments of wonderment, where I met my son for the first time. In an instant I became a mother and our lives are forever enriched. It's hard to believe there was a time when my first and last thoughts of the day (and most of them throughout the day) weren't about my kids. Hayden is such a sweet child, so active, precocious, and endeared to all who know him. He will invite us to come play with him with a "c'mon Mommy! c'mon Daddy!" He is great at playing independently as well. These days he is a little mimick whether it is just a certain way we are sitting, or the way we are vacuuming the floor. He is so earnest in copying us and I just find it to be such a compliment. He is so sweet to Logan, always taking him into consideration, and very protective of him. If he thinks we are bugging him he will yell "no, Mommy!! no Daddy!" He tells us when he is crying, brings him toys and wants to kiss him all the time.
Daily I look at Hayden and revel in how gorgeous he is. His beautiful dark hair, slightly olive complexion and large sparkly green eyes are enhanced by his easy smile. Our house is full of giggles and footsteps. Of course, he is two so we get our fair share of whining, tantrums and "No!!" but who's complaining! These days we often hear "Hayden do it!" as he discovers how very independent he can be. At school, he jumps right in, despite being the youngest in his class. I can see how quickly he is learning as he sings more songs to us, counts with ease and initiates more games. He loves books, much to my delight and my favorite time of the day is bedtime with books and singing. He wants Logan involved too, so we are a happy bunch sitting cuddled up on Hayden's bed each night.
As cliche as it is, I couldn't have imagined the depth of feeling I have for my little guys. As Hayden gets older I love him more and more for the person he is becoming. I hope to always make him feel cherished, and proud of who he is. I want to raise a compassionate, confident man, while holding onto this sweet child. I know his childhood will fly by in an instant just as babyhood did so I try to enjoy every day of this fleeting moment in time.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Party and lack of sleep- no, not the good 'ol college days!
**actually written Mon, March 6
Hayden is a very good sleeper at night. Bedtime consists of books and songs. He has been trying to drag it out more and more each night, but doesn't protest too much when I finally tell him no more, night night. It is my favorite time with him. He is so sweet reading and singing. Often, Logan joins us for this ritual, and Hayden seems to prefer his brother there, giving him a book to hold as well. Last night I finally got him singing on tape. He will belt out Itsy Bitsy Spider, but doesn't really know the words. So cute. He does pretty well w/ ABC's improvising the parts he doesn't know. Naptime has been more challenging. This weekend's score was Hayden 2, Mommy 0. On Saturday, I spent 4 1/2 hours trying to get him to nap. He came out for a little while, was such a pill, so I sent him back to his room. He stayed in there pretty quietly, giving me the opportunity to do what needed to be done. Logan napped very well that day, so it was a productive day. I just felt bad for not seeing him all afternoon.
Logan is a good napper, but still wakes once or twice at night. I am quite frustrated by this, but unwilling to ignore him and let him cry. I keep hoping he will make the adjustment himself since I know he doesn't need to eat at night and I keep rewarding him. Maybe next weekend I can convince dh to go to him to soothe him, without the reward of nursing.
Our weekend was dominated by preparing/throwing Hayden's birthday party. Hayden was very cute Sat. As I was vacuuming, he was mimicking me with his toy vacuum, very seriously into housework. He insisted on putting the real vacuum away himself, and did a darn good job fitting it into the closet. He frequently takes out the broom/mop/swiffer to clean the floors. Hopefully this tendency will last!
His party was nice and most everyone (except the feuding relatives) had a nice time. Hayden certainly did, which is what really matters. I love seeing that, and it is such a gratifying feeling to work so hard and he enjoys his party. He loved having snacks out that he could just take, and I found him on the patio stuffing his face w/ strawberries that were out. We served hamburgers, hotdogs, broccoli ramen salad, potato salad, and green salad. Yummy and easy. I totally forgot to prepare the hamburger fixin's so was scrambing, but had help, and everything worked out.
My aunt brought a little plastic slide set that my cousin has outgrown. The kids were like bees on a hive, all over it before it was completely assembled. Very cute! They also enjoyed the sidewalk chalk even though I forgot to put it out until later. No worries about 14 kids being bored. They all had fun. Hayden's face lit up when we sang Happy Birthday, and it was priceless. Hopefully, someone got a good pic of that. I forgot to bring out the video camera until the end. I shot while we opened presents. Hayden was uninterested in presents, so I got video of him on the slide. He did take interest in certain things later throughout the afternoon, which was cute. By the end of the party, he was exhausted, so we tried to put him down for a nap...and failed. He was a bit difficult last night, but not too awful. He was happy to play with new things and eat pizza while I watched the Oscars and demonstrated those toys.
Hayden is quite a chatterbox, listing names of people in his life, commenting on everything, and even using new phrases like "oh $h!t!" My current strategy is to ignore it and hope he loses interest, but in a couple days may have to be more proactive. I find it funny, even though I don't want it to continue. Another inappropriate Hayden-ism is "I want E E R!" Short for BEER which he heard us spell once, and has repeated ever since. We are NOT liquoring him up, I swear!
Logan is a little sweetheart. His personality is really coming out and it is adorable. He will interrupt nursing to give me an impish grin and a raspberry, then quickly latch back on like Gotcha! ;D He is so snuggly, and laps up attention. Fortunately, he also plays independently now, reaching for everything he can get. I love this age!
Hayden is a very good sleeper at night. Bedtime consists of books and songs. He has been trying to drag it out more and more each night, but doesn't protest too much when I finally tell him no more, night night. It is my favorite time with him. He is so sweet reading and singing. Often, Logan joins us for this ritual, and Hayden seems to prefer his brother there, giving him a book to hold as well. Last night I finally got him singing on tape. He will belt out Itsy Bitsy Spider, but doesn't really know the words. So cute. He does pretty well w/ ABC's improvising the parts he doesn't know. Naptime has been more challenging. This weekend's score was Hayden 2, Mommy 0. On Saturday, I spent 4 1/2 hours trying to get him to nap. He came out for a little while, was such a pill, so I sent him back to his room. He stayed in there pretty quietly, giving me the opportunity to do what needed to be done. Logan napped very well that day, so it was a productive day. I just felt bad for not seeing him all afternoon.
Logan is a good napper, but still wakes once or twice at night. I am quite frustrated by this, but unwilling to ignore him and let him cry. I keep hoping he will make the adjustment himself since I know he doesn't need to eat at night and I keep rewarding him. Maybe next weekend I can convince dh to go to him to soothe him, without the reward of nursing.
Our weekend was dominated by preparing/throwing Hayden's birthday party. Hayden was very cute Sat. As I was vacuuming, he was mimicking me with his toy vacuum, very seriously into housework. He insisted on putting the real vacuum away himself, and did a darn good job fitting it into the closet. He frequently takes out the broom/mop/swiffer to clean the floors. Hopefully this tendency will last!
His party was nice and most everyone (except the feuding relatives) had a nice time. Hayden certainly did, which is what really matters. I love seeing that, and it is such a gratifying feeling to work so hard and he enjoys his party. He loved having snacks out that he could just take, and I found him on the patio stuffing his face w/ strawberries that were out. We served hamburgers, hotdogs, broccoli ramen salad, potato salad, and green salad. Yummy and easy. I totally forgot to prepare the hamburger fixin's so was scrambing, but had help, and everything worked out.
My aunt brought a little plastic slide set that my cousin has outgrown. The kids were like bees on a hive, all over it before it was completely assembled. Very cute! They also enjoyed the sidewalk chalk even though I forgot to put it out until later. No worries about 14 kids being bored. They all had fun. Hayden's face lit up when we sang Happy Birthday, and it was priceless. Hopefully, someone got a good pic of that. I forgot to bring out the video camera until the end. I shot while we opened presents. Hayden was uninterested in presents, so I got video of him on the slide. He did take interest in certain things later throughout the afternoon, which was cute. By the end of the party, he was exhausted, so we tried to put him down for a nap...and failed. He was a bit difficult last night, but not too awful. He was happy to play with new things and eat pizza while I watched the Oscars and demonstrated those toys.
Hayden is quite a chatterbox, listing names of people in his life, commenting on everything, and even using new phrases like "oh $h!t!" My current strategy is to ignore it and hope he loses interest, but in a couple days may have to be more proactive. I find it funny, even though I don't want it to continue. Another inappropriate Hayden-ism is "I want E E R!" Short for BEER which he heard us spell once, and has repeated ever since. We are NOT liquoring him up, I swear!
Logan is a little sweetheart. His personality is really coming out and it is adorable. He will interrupt nursing to give me an impish grin and a raspberry, then quickly latch back on like Gotcha! ;D He is so snuggly, and laps up attention. Fortunately, he also plays independently now, reaching for everything he can get. I love this age!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Pectin- a heated debate
We had a busy, but productive weekend. The house is about 85% unpacked/setup which feels really good. Hayden's party is next weekend, so we at least feel like the place is presentable. Healthwise, things seem to be improving, although I don't want to jinx it. Hayden still has diarrhea a couple times a day, but nothing too horrible. The doc recommended keeping him off dairy and juice for a couple weeks since his tummy is so sensitive. Yes, even apple juice is out. My MIL had a discussion with the doc about this. It comes down to the fact that apple juice, unlike apple sauce, does not have pectin in it. The pectin is in the skin, which isn't used in juice. So, that settles that. The doc also recommended a supplement to renew the enzymes in there. He gets a couple pinches a day in his food. So, we are giving him soy milk and I have a confession to make. We put chocolate syrup (just a drop) because he was so spoiled by getting "juice" (pedialyte) all the time that I now need to entice him to drink his milk. I figure the benefits of drinking the choc milk out weigh the detriment of that little drop. So, theoretically he should be on the mend. He did get his color back yesterday and does seem better. He's not 100%, but on his way.
Logan was given a clean bill of health. There was some fluid behind his ear, but not an infection. He does now seem to have a cold complete w/ cough and wheeze, but seems ok. He's full of personality and just cracks us up now. He's at a very grabby stage and wants everything. So funny to me. Yesterday I was getting his cereal ready for him. He got so excited when he saw it that he was grunting and shaking! We really do feed that kid, I swear.
Hayden is now into singing songs and I love it. We hear him by himself singing ABC's and he gets most of the letters. I really want to videotape it before he knows it all. He requests the Itsy Bitsy "Pider" and a few others. It's such a sweet age, and everyday I am aware of how lucky I am. I told dh that my gf's and I were joking (well, sorta) about all getting pg a year from August. I thought he'd freak out, but all he said was it would be fine if we are more financially stable. Fair enough! I waffle everyday about #3, but suspect I will go for it. I truly love having babies, pregnancy, and birthing. My little guys just bring so much joy, that I imagine another one could only be better. Sometimes I am overwhelmed, and then think two is enough. For now I will enjoy them and the possibility of doing it again.
Logan was given a clean bill of health. There was some fluid behind his ear, but not an infection. He does now seem to have a cold complete w/ cough and wheeze, but seems ok. He's full of personality and just cracks us up now. He's at a very grabby stage and wants everything. So funny to me. Yesterday I was getting his cereal ready for him. He got so excited when he saw it that he was grunting and shaking! We really do feed that kid, I swear.
Hayden is now into singing songs and I love it. We hear him by himself singing ABC's and he gets most of the letters. I really want to videotape it before he knows it all. He requests the Itsy Bitsy "Pider" and a few others. It's such a sweet age, and everyday I am aware of how lucky I am. I told dh that my gf's and I were joking (well, sorta) about all getting pg a year from August. I thought he'd freak out, but all he said was it would be fine if we are more financially stable. Fair enough! I waffle everyday about #3, but suspect I will go for it. I truly love having babies, pregnancy, and birthing. My little guys just bring so much joy, that I imagine another one could only be better. Sometimes I am overwhelmed, and then think two is enough. For now I will enjoy them and the possibility of doing it again.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Sleep, perchance to....sleep!
One of the reasons I decided to write a blog is to document what the boys are doing. This time is speeding by making it easy to forget the little things, so I will try to keep up with some of it.
Hayden is such a fun little toddler. He has this great impish personality wanting to play with us and Logan. He has a generous spirit and overall sweet disposition. These days he wants to sing with me. His favorites are ABC, Twinkle Twinkle, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. Yesterday in the car he started saying "Bus wow wow wow!" He wanted me to sing The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round. How cute is that! He is simply delightful. He was playing with Fillip crawling on the floor and wanting to be chased. When Fillip didn't follow, he said "'mon Daddy!" Come on Daddy! Of course, that' s exactly what Fillip did. Who could resist! At bedtime he likes to look at books with me. Sometimes he likes me to read, and sometimes he wants to "read" to me. It seems he prefers the same books night after night so he gets familiar and points things out in the pictures. He really likes his Shabbat book and we practice the blessings. He even says some of the words without prompting sometimes. Oh how I kvell!! He also really wants Logan to participate in bedtime. He hands him his own book and stuffed animal. If I leave Logan playing on the floor, he says Logan needs to be on the bed with us. He is such a sweet big brother. Recently, Hayden has been so sick and asks to go to bed during dinner. He hardly eats in the evening (not necessarily a bad thing given how frequently he throws up in bed) and prefers to skip the bedtime routine so he can go right to sleep. It's really sad. Along with going to bed early, he has been waking early, before I leave for work. This is good and bad. Bad since Fillip doesn't necessarily want to be up yet. Good because I hate leaving for work without seeing him. This morning I put Logan in with Hayden to play. They were both happy boys. I could hear Hayden singing the ABC's all by himself.
Logan is a mellow little guy most of the time. He is happy wherever he is. Since 4 months old he has been able to sit up, but for the last few weeks, he can sit for longer periods. He enjoys playing with toys, manipulating them, mouthing them. I love seeing him spot something, then go for it. He loves to play with his feet when he is on his back. I find this beyond adorable, and did with Hayden too. He'll just roll around holding one or both feet, grinning at me. He is just a little bundle of sweetness. He can roll both ways, but doesn't really want to most of the time. If he gets stuck on his belly he would rather cry for me to turn him over than do it himself, and doesn't often roll to his belly. He will twist around to reach something though. Lately, he likes to fall backwards to look up and back at things. In my lap he'll throw himself back to flirt with me. Very funny. We have recently been supplementing with formula now and then, and he doesn't seem to notice, which is a good thing. He loves all the cereal we have given him. He's such a little chowhound. In the next couple days we will start introducing some other foods. We just wanted to wait until he is well, so if he has an allergic reaction like a rash, we know what is from.
The last few days he has been fussy, but I think he still isn't feeling great. We'll see what the doc says today. Yesterday his teachers said he was in a better mood and he actually slept through the night! What was that? He slept through the night!!!! I'm going to throw a party, I'm so excited. I was so tired that I nodded off around 9pm. I was bummed since the Olympic figure skating finals are only every 4 years, but I simply couldn't stay up any longer. Just as I was settling to go to sleep, of course Logan woke up. He usually doesn't wake until about 11pm, but seems to really know exactly when I am signing out. So, I scooped him out of his crib and into his swing. I bundled him up cozy warm, gave him his pacifier, and let him settle himself down. Imagine my delight (ok, and a little concern) when I woke at 5 am and he was still sleeping! Whoo f-ing hoo!! I was so tempted to tease him awake- "Logan, are you sleeping? Waah wahh waah! Wake up and pay attention to me! Wahh wahh!!" Nah, I just picked him up for a snuggle then let him nurse. A much needed relief by then.
These boys are such a constant source of joy. Each day I look at them in wonder and feel so incredibly lucky to have these beautiful beings in my life. Some days are harder than others, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Hayden is such a fun little toddler. He has this great impish personality wanting to play with us and Logan. He has a generous spirit and overall sweet disposition. These days he wants to sing with me. His favorites are ABC, Twinkle Twinkle, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. Yesterday in the car he started saying "Bus wow wow wow!" He wanted me to sing The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round. How cute is that! He is simply delightful. He was playing with Fillip crawling on the floor and wanting to be chased. When Fillip didn't follow, he said "'mon Daddy!" Come on Daddy! Of course, that' s exactly what Fillip did. Who could resist! At bedtime he likes to look at books with me. Sometimes he likes me to read, and sometimes he wants to "read" to me. It seems he prefers the same books night after night so he gets familiar and points things out in the pictures. He really likes his Shabbat book and we practice the blessings. He even says some of the words without prompting sometimes. Oh how I kvell!! He also really wants Logan to participate in bedtime. He hands him his own book and stuffed animal. If I leave Logan playing on the floor, he says Logan needs to be on the bed with us. He is such a sweet big brother. Recently, Hayden has been so sick and asks to go to bed during dinner. He hardly eats in the evening (not necessarily a bad thing given how frequently he throws up in bed) and prefers to skip the bedtime routine so he can go right to sleep. It's really sad. Along with going to bed early, he has been waking early, before I leave for work. This is good and bad. Bad since Fillip doesn't necessarily want to be up yet. Good because I hate leaving for work without seeing him. This morning I put Logan in with Hayden to play. They were both happy boys. I could hear Hayden singing the ABC's all by himself.
Logan is a mellow little guy most of the time. He is happy wherever he is. Since 4 months old he has been able to sit up, but for the last few weeks, he can sit for longer periods. He enjoys playing with toys, manipulating them, mouthing them. I love seeing him spot something, then go for it. He loves to play with his feet when he is on his back. I find this beyond adorable, and did with Hayden too. He'll just roll around holding one or both feet, grinning at me. He is just a little bundle of sweetness. He can roll both ways, but doesn't really want to most of the time. If he gets stuck on his belly he would rather cry for me to turn him over than do it himself, and doesn't often roll to his belly. He will twist around to reach something though. Lately, he likes to fall backwards to look up and back at things. In my lap he'll throw himself back to flirt with me. Very funny. We have recently been supplementing with formula now and then, and he doesn't seem to notice, which is a good thing. He loves all the cereal we have given him. He's such a little chowhound. In the next couple days we will start introducing some other foods. We just wanted to wait until he is well, so if he has an allergic reaction like a rash, we know what is from.
The last few days he has been fussy, but I think he still isn't feeling great. We'll see what the doc says today. Yesterday his teachers said he was in a better mood and he actually slept through the night! What was that? He slept through the night!!!! I'm going to throw a party, I'm so excited. I was so tired that I nodded off around 9pm. I was bummed since the Olympic figure skating finals are only every 4 years, but I simply couldn't stay up any longer. Just as I was settling to go to sleep, of course Logan woke up. He usually doesn't wake until about 11pm, but seems to really know exactly when I am signing out. So, I scooped him out of his crib and into his swing. I bundled him up cozy warm, gave him his pacifier, and let him settle himself down. Imagine my delight (ok, and a little concern) when I woke at 5 am and he was still sleeping! Whoo f-ing hoo!! I was so tempted to tease him awake- "Logan, are you sleeping? Waah wahh waah! Wake up and pay attention to me! Wahh wahh!!" Nah, I just picked him up for a snuggle then let him nurse. A much needed relief by then.
These boys are such a constant source of joy. Each day I look at them in wonder and feel so incredibly lucky to have these beautiful beings in my life. Some days are harder than others, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Kids still sick
H threw up again last night! He has been battling this stomach flu for about 3 weeks now. My poor little guy. We are so frustrated since he had to stay home from preschool again. Fortunately Grandma was able to take care of him so F could go to work. MIL brought up a good point that maybe having milk at school is setting him off, since this is happening every Wednesday. Could be.
When I found him sleeping in that again, I just couldn't believe it. So I woke him for a bath- again. F changed his sheets- again. He is staying out of school- again. We keep having to pay for school, and he can't even go.
L is so fussy as well, and I suspect he has an ear infection. He acted the same way the last time he had one- no overt symptoms, just fussy and crying. At school, they marked him as "sensitive." For some reason, that description amuses me. (They would check that box for me everyday!) Between the job commitments and lack of transportation, it is so difficult to keep getting him to the doctor. He also wakes all night to eat, leaving me with little energy during the day to cope with everything.
I feel so bad for my little guys. Hopefully, we can get them both well soon, and have them stay that way!!
When I found him sleeping in that again, I just couldn't believe it. So I woke him for a bath- again. F changed his sheets- again. He is staying out of school- again. We keep having to pay for school, and he can't even go.
L is so fussy as well, and I suspect he has an ear infection. He acted the same way the last time he had one- no overt symptoms, just fussy and crying. At school, they marked him as "sensitive." For some reason, that description amuses me. (They would check that box for me everyday!) Between the job commitments and lack of transportation, it is so difficult to keep getting him to the doctor. He also wakes all night to eat, leaving me with little energy during the day to cope with everything.
I feel so bad for my little guys. Hopefully, we can get them both well soon, and have them stay that way!!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
My Daily Struggle
Ok, so I finally came up with an insightful and witty first post for my Brand New Blog. Somehow I deleted it and am already less enamored with this process. You know, something about my thoughts whirling all the time, yet my mind mirroring the blank screen I am looking at. I then outlined my inner conflict which goes something like this.....
Each day I am faced with numerous conflicting obligations. I would like to be the Perfect Mother, a Good Wife, a Reliable Professional, yet still have have some sense of Me. This is not easy.
The Perfect Mother- Who defines what this is? I want to enjoy my boys infancy, toddlerhood, and childhood as each phase is so delicately short. I want my boys to feel loved, secure, and supported in everything they do. I want to stay home with them, yet give them social outlets to grow into individuals who are comfortable with different types of people. I want to foster an independence in them, while teaching them they can't do everything on their own. I would like to spend more time with them, be more energetic, more creative, more patient, just more.
A Good Wife- Again, a subjective goal. I want my husband to feel loved and secure in our marriage. I want him to respect who I am and what I do. I want us to work as a team in our shared life striving together to achieve marital, family and personal goals.
Reliable Professional- I want my bosses and co-workers to perceive me as a professional who gets the job done, regardless of personal stuggles. I want to present a professional image that is unshakeable, unflapplable, dependable.
Me- Here is where it all falls apart. My need to be the Perfect Mother is hindered by my need to provide for my children by being the Reliable Professional, necessitated by my role as the Good Wife to a husband whose career has been rocky these last couple years. I need to be financially and emotionally supportive of my husband and children, yet feel chronically emotionally and physically depleted.
This is my daily stuggle. So, how do I fix all this? I guess we will find out together!
Each day I am faced with numerous conflicting obligations. I would like to be the Perfect Mother, a Good Wife, a Reliable Professional, yet still have have some sense of Me. This is not easy.
The Perfect Mother- Who defines what this is? I want to enjoy my boys infancy, toddlerhood, and childhood as each phase is so delicately short. I want my boys to feel loved, secure, and supported in everything they do. I want to stay home with them, yet give them social outlets to grow into individuals who are comfortable with different types of people. I want to foster an independence in them, while teaching them they can't do everything on their own. I would like to spend more time with them, be more energetic, more creative, more patient, just more.
A Good Wife- Again, a subjective goal. I want my husband to feel loved and secure in our marriage. I want him to respect who I am and what I do. I want us to work as a team in our shared life striving together to achieve marital, family and personal goals.
Reliable Professional- I want my bosses and co-workers to perceive me as a professional who gets the job done, regardless of personal stuggles. I want to present a professional image that is unshakeable, unflapplable, dependable.
Me- Here is where it all falls apart. My need to be the Perfect Mother is hindered by my need to provide for my children by being the Reliable Professional, necessitated by my role as the Good Wife to a husband whose career has been rocky these last couple years. I need to be financially and emotionally supportive of my husband and children, yet feel chronically emotionally and physically depleted.
This is my daily stuggle. So, how do I fix all this? I guess we will find out together!
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