Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Out of the mouths of babes

"Conan, stop bitching!"
Um, what did you say Hayden?
"Kitty is bitching!"
Yea, Hayden doesn't like when the cat is bitching.

Another choice phrase is "oh shit!" He uses it quite appropriately, if a two year old saying shit has any way of being appropriate, muttering under his breath when his book falls to the floor or the legos don't quite go together. He also modifies it from time to time. A recent whopper "oh fuck oh shit."

Hmmm...maybe we need to watch our language around here. He's supposed to be potty trained, not a potty mouth! He hears it all over as I'm not exactly perfect about it, my MIL uses that one frequently, and dh's language is atrocious. Our strategy had been to just ignore it thinking if it doesn't get him attention, he'll lose interest in these new and interesting phrases. Live and learn. Now what?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Casting Couch

Most people who live in Los Angeles have a different concept of the casting couch. I wound up there three times in the last two days.

Monday was my orthopedic checkup. The doc decided I would benefit from another week in a cast. Lovely. I made the bold choice of a purple cast this time. That evening I went home and promptly got it soaked in the shower. Eyww! The next day, I took my waterlogged foot back to the doc and had the cast done again. Unfortunately, something just didn't feel right, so they had to do it twice. Still purple, although I did consider the glow-in-the-dark one. Cool, huh? This stays on until Monday morning. Hopefully, that will be the end of it as we leave on vacation that day.

Hayden is well accustomed to his gimpy mom. He constantly asks "Ok Mommy? I kiss it. Better?" He loves to hand me my crutches and talk about my purple cast. He frequently kisses my foot better, which is so sweet. These days if he even brushes something against something else, we get the most pitiful "My ___ hurts. Kiss my ___." We are often told to kiss his butt. Somehow, I think this is only the beginning.

Logan has decided I am simply a milk bar, and useless for anything else. He only wants Fillip, collapsing in tears of heartbreak everytime Fillip walks away. This just cracks me up to watch my husband get totally played by that little guy. It's all a great act since my MIL reports what an angel he is for her. Too funny. I miss his snuggles, so when he woke at 4:15am, I kept him in bed instead of having dh tuck him back in after a snack. He slept on my chest, and although I didn't get back to sleep, it was so sweet to snuggle him. Aah, the small rewards in life.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Fuck! Last night I was dog-tired. It was my first day back at work, my foot was giant and killing me, and my girlfriends came over for dinner. No, I didn't need to entertain. They made dinner, helped me with the kids, and let Fillip go out for a much needed break, but I was still up more than I should have been. So, by the time I went to draw my bath I really needed to lie down and sleep. I turned on the tub then went to quickly (or so I thought) check my email. Oh, the clever responses I sent out! Oh, yea, I'm soooo witty! So witty in fact that when it occurred to me a few minutes later to check the tub, the water had flowed over the sides, all over the bathroom, and was headed into the hall. Clever girl, my ass.

So there I was late last night, husband out as suggested, trying to mop up the floor with the last two clean towels, on crutches. Pitiful. I did take my bath anyway. As long as it was already a hazard, I may as well get clean.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Logan is on the go!

Logan is now crawling! Well, sorta. Sometimes he does make crawling motions, but must of the time his locomotion style is wild. He will start out on hands and knees then straighten his arms. I thing he is "telescoping" because he raises his head looking out over the room. If he spots me, he smiles and giggles, they coyly looks down. Once he has spotted his target, he straightens his legs so he is on straight arms and legs looking around. Next, his head just drops, and then his chest and his feet push him forward. After gaining a few inches that head swings back up again to check his progress. Sometimes he does all this rapidly and it is wild to see. On the flooring he gets frustrated because he can't always get traction, and he really doesn't like shorts because his little knees get irritated. He will play independently for extended periods now, and is just growing up so fast!

All tore up

The fracture is very minor and not the cause of my pain, swelling and bruising. I have a level 3 sprain meaning I completely, or near completely tore the ligament. The doc casted it to my knee and said to keep it elevated above my heart for a week. I love the blue color of the cast, which is a good thing since I am stuck with it for now. I haven't yet spoken to my boss and don't look forward to that conversation. The pain is bearable (especially after two babies!) which is lucky since I can only take Tylenol while nursing. Having my entire body hurt is what is driving me crazy.

Fillip is struggling to take care of all of us, and apparantly I'm not grateful. So, I am continuing to ask him for very little and saying Thank You louder than I was before (since he "hadn't heard me say it once!") and somehow we will get through this. I am fully aware of my frustration and crankiness, but really don't think I am asking for much from Fillip. Guess I was wrong. He is juggling a lot right now and I understand that. He wants to take care of us all, but we all know how difficult it is to do everything. Captain Hero shot down my suggestion of a cleaning lady, choosing to take it as a criticism of what he isn't doing. I couldn't seem to convey that I was sympathetic to all he needed to do and thought that would be helpful; that it is unfair to expect him to do everything when we weren't able to keep up the house together. No dice.

Not surprisingly, Hayden is started to act out and was very surprised yesterday when I hopped off the couch to enforce my order to go to his room. It was not easy or comfortable to do, but since I can't easily get up, he needs to listen to what I tell him. Generally though, he is so sweet. He kisses my foot to make it better, is happy to help when I want him to bring me things, and is just so cute in general. If my crutches or slipper are across the room, he will bring them over, insisting I should have them right next to me.

I'm trying to keep this in perspective, that people go through so much worse, for much longer times, with less or no resources, but it still sucks.

Monday, May 01, 2006

My Left Foot...

is fine. My right one, however, is broken.

I was holding Logan and going out our side door and somehow missed a step. I went down HARD and felt like Logan flew onto the concrete. (He is fine, which I will get to, but just want to avoid any extra worry here!) I was screaming in pain and for Fillip. When he came out I just kept screaming for him to get the baby. Once Fillip got me up and in the house (I fell in the sprinkling of cat litter around the box, just to add insult to injury! f-ing cats!) I nursed Logan, but he kept falling asleep. We rushed off the ER, stopping numerous times to wake up Logan. Hayden would call from the backseat "baby eyes closed" and we would pull over, Fillip would scoop L out of his carseat and make sure he was awake (and therefore annoyed and screaming) before going further.

Once we arrived at the ER, Fillip dashed in with Logan while I waited in the car. It seemed like forever before they stopped hassling Fillip with paperwork and would actually look at Logan. After the initial eval, they sent him on the the ER Express (express, my ass) where we waited for 2 hrs to be seen. He got a clean bill of health and we gave a great sigh of relief. To Logan's relief, he was finally able to go to sleep and Fillip took him to my MIL to meet up w/ Hayden while I waited for xrays. My MIL had met us at the ER to take Hayden. Since Fillip rushed in w/ Logan leaving me in the car, my MIL eventually went in to have medical staff retrieve my sorry self in a wheelchair. MIL then moved the car and made sure I was checked in before taking Hayden.

Hayden was sooo good through all this as he was really freaked out. Before we left he refused anything to eat (very unlike him) and throughout the day would start bawling at the slightest hint of stress. It didn't help that this was all precipitated by a blowout fight, for which I can't express my regret enough (for the kids, not Fillip who was being extremely unreasonable and I was reacting poorly). The only good part of that was Hayden was in the car when I actually fell, so was spared the sight and sound of me on the ground howling.

I see an orthopedist tomorrow to get more info. Today I am home alone and so frustrated by the whole thing. We were worn out emotionally by fear for Logan and I am worn out physically. I'm supposed to be flat on my back to elevate my foot above my heart. (Something I am achieving occasionally) I seemed to have also wrenched my back and my chest and shoulders are sore from the crutches. I have no upper body strength and am struggling to do anything. Just getting a drink of water is tough because I can't use the crutches and carry the glass. My boss isn't happy with me. Dh is stressed out. ughh!! Oh yeah, and our vacation, which we booked on Sat is non-refundable. First vacation in years and I don't know if I will be on crutches!

Things could always be worse, as I keep telling myself. This will pass, but until it does what a pain! I have made one decision..we are getting cleaning lady! We weren't keeping up as it is, and now Fillip simply cannot do everything. So there!