Monday, February 27, 2006

Pectin- a heated debate

We had a busy, but productive weekend. The house is about 85% unpacked/setup which feels really good. Hayden's party is next weekend, so we at least feel like the place is presentable. Healthwise, things seem to be improving, although I don't want to jinx it. Hayden still has diarrhea a couple times a day, but nothing too horrible. The doc recommended keeping him off dairy and juice for a couple weeks since his tummy is so sensitive. Yes, even apple juice is out. My MIL had a discussion with the doc about this. It comes down to the fact that apple juice, unlike apple sauce, does not have pectin in it. The pectin is in the skin, which isn't used in juice. So, that settles that. The doc also recommended a supplement to renew the enzymes in there. He gets a couple pinches a day in his food. So, we are giving him soy milk and I have a confession to make. We put chocolate syrup (just a drop) because he was so spoiled by getting "juice" (pedialyte) all the time that I now need to entice him to drink his milk. I figure the benefits of drinking the choc milk out weigh the detriment of that little drop. So, theoretically he should be on the mend. He did get his color back yesterday and does seem better. He's not 100%, but on his way.

Logan was given a clean bill of health. There was some fluid behind his ear, but not an infection. He does now seem to have a cold complete w/ cough and wheeze, but seems ok. He's full of personality and just cracks us up now. He's at a very grabby stage and wants everything. So funny to me. Yesterday I was getting his cereal ready for him. He got so excited when he saw it that he was grunting and shaking! We really do feed that kid, I swear.

Hayden is now into singing songs and I love it. We hear him by himself singing ABC's and he gets most of the letters. I really want to videotape it before he knows it all. He requests the Itsy Bitsy "Pider" and a few others. It's such a sweet age, and everyday I am aware of how lucky I am. I told dh that my gf's and I were joking (well, sorta) about all getting pg a year from August. I thought he'd freak out, but all he said was it would be fine if we are more financially stable. Fair enough! I waffle everyday about #3, but suspect I will go for it. I truly love having babies, pregnancy, and birthing. My little guys just bring so much joy, that I imagine another one could only be better. Sometimes I am overwhelmed, and then think two is enough. For now I will enjoy them and the possibility of doing it again.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Sleep, perchance to....sleep!

One of the reasons I decided to write a blog is to document what the boys are doing. This time is speeding by making it easy to forget the little things, so I will try to keep up with some of it.

Hayden is such a fun little toddler. He has this great impish personality wanting to play with us and Logan. He has a generous spirit and overall sweet disposition. These days he wants to sing with me. His favorites are ABC, Twinkle Twinkle, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. Yesterday in the car he started saying "Bus wow wow wow!" He wanted me to sing The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round. How cute is that! He is simply delightful. He was playing with Fillip crawling on the floor and wanting to be chased. When Fillip didn't follow, he said "'mon Daddy!" Come on Daddy! Of course, that' s exactly what Fillip did. Who could resist! At bedtime he likes to look at books with me. Sometimes he likes me to read, and sometimes he wants to "read" to me. It seems he prefers the same books night after night so he gets familiar and points things out in the pictures. He really likes his Shabbat book and we practice the blessings. He even says some of the words without prompting sometimes. Oh how I kvell!! He also really wants Logan to participate in bedtime. He hands him his own book and stuffed animal. If I leave Logan playing on the floor, he says Logan needs to be on the bed with us. He is such a sweet big brother. Recently, Hayden has been so sick and asks to go to bed during dinner. He hardly eats in the evening (not necessarily a bad thing given how frequently he throws up in bed) and prefers to skip the bedtime routine so he can go right to sleep. It's really sad. Along with going to bed early, he has been waking early, before I leave for work. This is good and bad. Bad since Fillip doesn't necessarily want to be up yet. Good because I hate leaving for work without seeing him. This morning I put Logan in with Hayden to play. They were both happy boys. I could hear Hayden singing the ABC's all by himself.

Logan is a mellow little guy most of the time. He is happy wherever he is. Since 4 months old he has been able to sit up, but for the last few weeks, he can sit for longer periods. He enjoys playing with toys, manipulating them, mouthing them. I love seeing him spot something, then go for it. He loves to play with his feet when he is on his back. I find this beyond adorable, and did with Hayden too. He'll just roll around holding one or both feet, grinning at me. He is just a little bundle of sweetness. He can roll both ways, but doesn't really want to most of the time. If he gets stuck on his belly he would rather cry for me to turn him over than do it himself, and doesn't often roll to his belly. He will twist around to reach something though. Lately, he likes to fall backwards to look up and back at things. In my lap he'll throw himself back to flirt with me. Very funny. We have recently been supplementing with formula now and then, and he doesn't seem to notice, which is a good thing. He loves all the cereal we have given him. He's such a little chowhound. In the next couple days we will start introducing some other foods. We just wanted to wait until he is well, so if he has an allergic reaction like a rash, we know what is from.

The last few days he has been fussy, but I think he still isn't feeling great. We'll see what the doc says today. Yesterday his teachers said he was in a better mood and he actually slept through the night! What was that? He slept through the night!!!! I'm going to throw a party, I'm so excited. I was so tired that I nodded off around 9pm. I was bummed since the Olympic figure skating finals are only every 4 years, but I simply couldn't stay up any longer. Just as I was settling to go to sleep, of course Logan woke up. He usually doesn't wake until about 11pm, but seems to really know exactly when I am signing out. So, I scooped him out of his crib and into his swing. I bundled him up cozy warm, gave him his pacifier, and let him settle himself down. Imagine my delight (ok, and a little concern) when I woke at 5 am and he was still sleeping! Whoo f-ing hoo!! I was so tempted to tease him awake- "Logan, are you sleeping? Waah wahh waah! Wake up and pay attention to me! Wahh wahh!!" Nah, I just picked him up for a snuggle then let him nurse. A much needed relief by then.

These boys are such a constant source of joy. Each day I look at them in wonder and feel so incredibly lucky to have these beautiful beings in my life. Some days are harder than others, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Kids still sick

H threw up again last night! He has been battling this stomach flu for about 3 weeks now. My poor little guy. We are so frustrated since he had to stay home from preschool again. Fortunately Grandma was able to take care of him so F could go to work. MIL brought up a good point that maybe having milk at school is setting him off, since this is happening every Wednesday. Could be.

When I found him sleeping in that again, I just couldn't believe it. So I woke him for a bath- again. F changed his sheets- again. He is staying out of school- again. We keep having to pay for school, and he can't even go.

L is so fussy as well, and I suspect he has an ear infection. He acted the same way the last time he had one- no overt symptoms, just fussy and crying. At school, they marked him as "sensitive." For some reason, that description amuses me. (They would check that box for me everyday!) Between the job commitments and lack of transportation, it is so difficult to keep getting him to the doctor. He also wakes all night to eat, leaving me with little energy during the day to cope with everything.

I feel so bad for my little guys. Hopefully, we can get them both well soon, and have them stay that way!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

My Daily Struggle

Ok, so I finally came up with an insightful and witty first post for my Brand New Blog. Somehow I deleted it and am already less enamored with this process. You know, something about my thoughts whirling all the time, yet my mind mirroring the blank screen I am looking at. I then outlined my inner conflict which goes something like this.....

Each day I am faced with numerous conflicting obligations. I would like to be the Perfect Mother, a Good Wife, a Reliable Professional, yet still have have some sense of Me. This is not easy.

The Perfect Mother- Who defines what this is? I want to enjoy my boys infancy, toddlerhood, and childhood as each phase is so delicately short. I want my boys to feel loved, secure, and supported in everything they do. I want to stay home with them, yet give them social outlets to grow into individuals who are comfortable with different types of people. I want to foster an independence in them, while teaching them they can't do everything on their own. I would like to spend more time with them, be more energetic, more creative, more patient, just more.

A Good Wife- Again, a subjective goal. I want my husband to feel loved and secure in our marriage. I want him to respect who I am and what I do. I want us to work as a team in our shared life striving together to achieve marital, family and personal goals.

Reliable Professional- I want my bosses and co-workers to perceive me as a professional who gets the job done, regardless of personal stuggles. I want to present a professional image that is unshakeable, unflapplable, dependable.

Me- Here is where it all falls apart. My need to be the Perfect Mother is hindered by my need to provide for my children by being the Reliable Professional, necessitated by my role as the Good Wife to a husband whose career has been rocky these last couple years. I need to be financially and emotionally supportive of my husband and children, yet feel chronically emotionally and physically depleted.

This is my daily stuggle. So, how do I fix all this? I guess we will find out together!