Family Update - Hayden

Obviously, it’s been awhile since I posted! Since I’ve missed several birthdays and a hundred anecdotes, I will just start in the now.

Hayden at 8 years old-

Hayden is so grown up, I can’t even believe it. Physically, he is starting to get lanky with feet that won’t quit. He’s incredibly handsome with a charming smile, and a fun dry wit. He loves sports, electing to go to Sports Camp instead of the regular day camp this year. Making lanyards apparently just didn’t interest him. Fortunately, his counselor realized that on the very first day. He’s enjoyed playing soccer or baseball every day, seems to be improving his foosball skills, and is picking up some choice language from the mixed age group. At home he has been enjoying watching a ton of Olympic sports and LOVES to play Skylanders whenever he is allowed.

We are very big on everyone having responsibilities, and working as a team. Hayden could use some improvement in the Help Around the House category. Asking him to do anything is SO ANNOYING to him. We’ve tried to convince him that Eye Rolling is not an Olympic sport. However, he seems to think that if he keeps it up, maybe he can compete in the 2020 Olympic Games by bringing back Demonstration Sports. It could go on the schedule right after they bring back Pigeon Racing.

He continues to be a doting big brother to Sutton, even volunteering to take him potty. If Sutton goes in the potty, they both get treats! He really looks after his littlest brother and they have a very strong bond. His relationship with Logan is much more up and down. Much of the time they play great together. Much of the time Hayden can be quite a bully to Logan. Although, just yesterday, they went to Disneyland with camp. They each had $20 to spend. After lunch, Hayden found some personalized key chains. There was a Logan one and a Hayden one. Sweet kid bought the one for Logan, saying “I haven’t been treating him so great lately, and I thought he would like it.” Kvelling! They really do love each other, despite the frequent bickering. When Logan got hurt at school a few months ago, Hayden spent a very anxious afternoon waiting for us to get home from the hospital, just so he could see for himself how Logan was doing. Another day, Logan literally fell on his face walking out the door. Hayden was in a panic, and so upset that his brother was hurt. He doesn’t express a lot, but he loves his brothers.

Hayden remains a rather cautious and introspective kid. He keeps his emotions close to the chest, so we listen very closely when he lets them out. His time on the beach can vary from playing with Logan gleefully, to sitting quietly reading a book. He’s become more adventurous, playing in the waves and boogie boarding this summer. He is so eager to begin 3rd grade, although I suspect that will fade quickly once he needs to start getting up a bit earlier for school. School begins next week, and he is eager to see his friends every day, start learning new things and have homework again. Strangely, he hasn’t done all that much reading this summer, but that will change quickly once school begins. I’m still constantly amazed at how quickly he reads and how much he retains. Recently at a birthday party:

Logan- “Hayden, how many chapters in the 7th Harry Potter book?”

Hayden- “Thirty six and and epilogue.”

I haven’t looked it up, but I’d be willing to bet money he’s right.

Happy 7th Birthday, Hayden!

Seven years ago today, the most important chapter of our lives began. All those years of thinking life was full and good, that we were tired and busy....were a total sham. The day we became parents, real meaning entered our lives in the form of our unique and gifted boy.

Hayden is surprisingly nurturing and sensitive, yet can battle endlessly with Logan. When it comes to Sutton, he is amazing. He protects and cares for him, is happy to feed him or check that he is playing safely, and gets the deepest belly laughs from that baby. Yet, he can be petty, bossy and selfish with Logan to no end. They want to play together constantly, create games and scenarios, run around wildly and snuggle up together to read or play video games...except sometimes. Sometimes, it gets ugly. Fortunately, I do see a very loving bond with those close age brothers, and it is obvious whenever one of them is hurting, sad, or needs some support to execute a game or get a bandaid.

In school, Hayden absolutely LOVES tetherball. We hear endless analysis of the different types of tetherball hits and who won that day. By his account, he is probably the 2nd or 3rd best player out there, losing only to older kids most of the time. In class, he is wonderful. He thrives on academic work, usually finishing first as is his goal. He reads at a 3rd or 4th grade level, and we often tell him that walking to the car or sitting in the bathroom for an hour isn't the appropriate time to  be reading. We let him know settling in with a good book for an afternoon rest is much better. He escapes to a world of fiction, and I totally get it. Having been "that" kid, I'm so glad he loves stories, as it will be a gift he will enjoy his entire life.



Enough with the camera Mommy!



He is very excited today about his big Seventh Birthday! The celebration has begun with me getting up early to make his favorite breakfast of french toast. About 4 dozen cupakes are ready to go for school and baseball today. Sunday we will be having a party for his friends at a mini-golf place. These 7 years seem to have flown by with so many losses and new arrivals in our lives. Through it all, we have had the wonderful blessing of a child who loves to say I am the Best Mommy In the Whole World, and who still likes a good snuggle and a kiss. He has a funny sense of humor, gets our sarcastic wit and enjoys a good pun. Before long, he will be unknowingly breaking hearts with a shake of that silky hair and a gaze from those gorgeous green eyes. That smile will set many hearts aflutter, as it does mine. How very blessed we are to parent this sweet, complex child.

I'll smile for your picture, but it won't interrupt me getting
more Chuck E. Cheese tokens. There are tickets to be won!

Happy 6th Birthday, Hayden!

What can I say about my sweet Hayden?

He is still such a combination of young and mature. He has a well developed sense of adolescent indignation, yet retains so much of his small child demeanor. His emotions are strong, yet often he keeps his deeper thoughts to himself. He loves school, and is definitely enjoying kindergarten. An academic environment is exactly what he thrives in, while still striving to overcome some of his challenges when he gets frustrated on the playground. Each night when we ask how his day was, he will give us a detailed description of whatever extra activity was scheduled that day- P.E., Art, Music, etc... He has inherited my love of reading, and devours books. He loves being in the school library, and the librarian knows him well. His reading level is around 3rd grade, and although I don't know how they would classify his math skills, it is definitely well beyond kindergarten. He gets extra homework in the evenings that is more challenging than what was covered in class. He easily identifies numerical patterns, and arithmetic simply comes naturally to him. In his class, he enjoys challenging work, but loses focus when the lessons are easy for him. However, his teacher mentioned that when he is given the responsibility to help another student, he does great. He takes a lot of pride in learning and seems to be coming around to the fact that as smart as he is, there is so much more to know. On the playground, he enjoys playing with his friends and his social and emotional development seem to be right at kindergarten level.

Outside of school, he loves being involved in baseball or going for bike rides. He is always full of energy, yet is content to lie on his bed reading a book, or snuggling up to Logan to read them both a story. Despite his tendency to be reserved with his emotions, he is quite affectionate. Together, it is common to see the boys holding hands, or put their arms around one another. Of course, sometimes that physical closeness erupts into wrestling, pushing, hitting, etc... but mostly they just love being together. Hayden often tries to teach Logan things, whether Logan is interested in learning them or not. We hear Hayden using his "teacher voice" to get Logan to spell something or repeat things. Usually Logan is pretty good-natured about it, but certainly feels comfortable speaking up in protest when he doesn't feel like playing along. When I see Hayden interact with his peers, he is clearly such a big kid now. There is a maturity in him that stands out in contrast to past months, reminding me how independent he is. He seems to have toughened up a bit, no longer getting as upset by minor bumps and bruises, able to play harder with his friends. On our recent trip to Lake Tahoe, I was thrilled to see him fearlessly go down a giant inner tube track by himself, without hesitation, grinning and laughing all the way down. He was impatient with my need to take a picture as he hiked back up, since he was so eager to ride again. He has developed a much stronger sense of adventure, where before his sense of daring was shadowed by his cautious nature. Yet, he is certainly not a reckless kid.

Each night we have pre-bedtime stories. These days, it is usually Hayden reading to us. He seems to take great pride in this, enjoying picking out the story, or graciously asking Logan what he wants to hear. Hayden loves to snuggle at night, and have a little chat at bedtime. Although I know this is partially stalling off sleep, it also seems to be the time of day when his thoughts are flowing, and he feels most comfortable sharing what is on his mind. He will review the day or simply tell me I am the best mommy in the world. He truly has a sweet nature and loves his family.

His birthday celebration was quite modest this year, as our time and energy seem to be at a premium. We kept it very small this year, and out of the house. When we told him he could invite just 5 friends, he enthusiastically gave us a list of 5, without complaining that he wanted more. He has always been so appreciative of the small and big things, without any grand expectations for birthdays. Getting him to answer the question "What would you like for your birthday" is nearly impossible, and he just doesn't seem to think about the potential for gifts. Yesterday we invited just a few of his friends to Farrell's for lunch and time to play on bumper boats and mini-golf. It was so fun to see him playing and interacting with his classmates. They all piled into the booth like puppies, despite the restaurant reserving a long booth with lots of space for us. He was so excited to get to play some arcade games and see all that was in store for him. As each guest arrived, he was ecstatic to see them, and include them in what he was doing. The player piano was a big hit, with all the kids in a bunch at the piano rather than at the table. Pizza brought them back in, and icecream brought them back again. When the staff sounded the birthday siren and brought out the big drum to sing to him, he was clearly at a loss. He stood there politely as they sang, but looked very overwhelmed. This is quite typical of him when we celebrate in a restaurant of any kind. He must have taken on my discomfort of public celebration. (Frankly, he did better than the next kid, who couldn't bear to even turn around to look at the group of people singing to him! ) Hayden more enjoyed when we sang the regular Happy Birthday song to him, and didn't even get upset when one of the younger siblings mistakenly starting blowing out his candles. He just kind of gave her an indulgent look, then blew out the rest. Later, when they went on the bumper boats, I was laughing to see him object so strongly to being squirted, yet opening fire with his squirt gun on everyone he could. He was absolutely soaked when he got off the ride, yet chose to get right back on with the other kids. His girlfriend from school was there, and the two of them played mini-golf together. They have such a fun dynamic, laughing and sparring all at once, without ever seeming in any way contentious. There was no sense of competition to win the game, although they each fiercely defended their alternating turn to go first. When he opened her handmade birthday card and gift later last night, he went and hung to card up on his bulletin board in his room.

This morning I greeted my sleepy birthday boy before I left for work. Although he was happy to be reminded that he is now six, he seemed much more interested in some hugs and snuggles. I will bring cupcakes to school for him, then we are having some family over for dinner tonight. It seems amazing that six years have passed in this journey of parenthood. I feel incredibly lucky to have such a sweet, complicated boy. He is such a joy to to have around. Today I wish him a fantastic 6th birthday, and for each tomorrow thereafter, I hope he always knows how to find his happiness in the world.

Hayden's Pirate Party in Pictures

Hayden had quite a birthday party. He wanted a pirate theme, and we went all out. The kids got to do a treasure hunt, bust open a pinata, have some cake, and have more candy than any parent will ever forgive us for. They walked away with bags full of booty that included swords, eye patches, compasses, tattoos, stickers, jewelry, coins, and a bunch of other really cheap stuff from my favorite party supply website. Although our timing was off, Hayden and the other kids seemed to have a fantastic time. Momma and Papa pirate were absolutely beat by the end.

Argghhh Matey! Captain Hayden keeps the guests in line.
Who doesn't have a friend paint an awesome mural in the backyard the night before a party?And builds a ship.... I just like this picture.
Walking the plank.


The birthday boy on a treasure hunt.
Pillaging and plundering after the treasure hunt.
This is a picture of the kids with the pinatas a couple days before the party, but it gives you an idea of how freakin' huge they were.

The cake

I think they got enough candy.......even if they had to scuffle over it.


Finally, present time! It's fun when your big brother gets a new guitar!
Tired Mom and Dad.
Tired and ready for bed- nothing like beginning a new story when you get Charlotte's Web for your birthday. Oh, and those glasses have got to go. I look like I turned twice my age.

Happy birthday, Captain Hayden.

Hayden's 5th Birthday

What I can I say about my sweet Hayden? He is such a precious kid. He has a sensitive soul, and truly wants to make others feel good. He is generous with compliments, and most of the time willing to consider other opinions. He has an amazing intelligence that even his teacher seems a bit surprised by. He is now reading and constantly sounding out words wherever we are. He makes "good" mistakes, in that he is thinking about the phonic rules he knows, and applies them. It's not his fault English is quirky. He also does arithmetic, applying simple addition and subtraction to more abstract situations than his school worksheets. He seems to enjoy academic work more than anything, and talks about that much more than playtime at school. He absolutely adores his teacher, and I am wondering how he will do transitioning to the next class this month.

Yesterday was his very first T-ball game. It was so cute! He seemed to really enjoy himself, and like soccer, is eager to listen to the coaches and take their suggestions. He does tend to lose focus frequently, but we are hoping team sports will help him with that. One thing Fillip noticed during the game, is that Hayden was constantly watching for where Logan was. Those two are so connected and they need to know what the other one is doing at all times. It is sweet, although we need to let him know we've got Logan covered. Keep your eye on the ball, kid.

At home Hayden waffles between petulant child, and old soul. He is certainly charming, and very affectionate. Typically, he will be very helpful even without being asked. However, when he is tired or just not in the mood, he acts like a resentful teenager, put out at having to contribute in any way. Fortunately, it isn't the majority of the time. Often, Hayden's helpfulness is hampered by Logan's "little brother-ness." It's hard to make your bed when your little brother has his butt in your face. (Yes, we are working on that.)

Hayden retains his analytical and mechanical tendencies, which are offset by Logan's creativity. They want to be together all the time, even when they are driving each other crazy. Hayden wants to be in charge of Logan at all times, correcting his pronunciation, enforcing rules, and being "the leader." Unfortunately for Hayden, Logan doesn't always appreciate these efforts, and they tend to scuffle when Logan exerts his independence. Over the last couple months, they have been getting along well, and rarely do more than a little squabbling.He love to be silly, making up words and changing lyrics to songs. He has come up with some intensely irritating noices, and takes great joy in doing them over and over again.

Hayden tends to be quite emotionally sensitive with his own emotions, and in reading ours. He gets his feelings easily hurt, or gets very angry when he feels things are unfair. However, he also tells us he loves us, laughs easily, and is pretty good about clarifying when he isn't sure if we are mad. It often looks like he is absorbing his emotions, not bringing them to our attention when he is worried about something. However, he is able to express himself quite well when we talk together, and realizes he can express whatever is bothering him. He remembers every little detail, often amazing people with the trivial facts he will come up with months after seeing someone. Getting in trouble is a big deal to him, and he is generally really good. When he does get time out, he is truly outraged, but it is very easy to get a point across with him. He learns rules well, and generally doesn't try to break them. Sometimes, though, he does forget what they are.

He loves to snuggle when he goes to bed, and have a quiet chat before falling asleep. I love to snuggle him back, and remind him of how very much he is loved. He is a true joy every day.

Just popping in for a minute...

Oh, hello there! Are you still here? How nice of you to stay!

Obviously, with weeks of e-silence on my blog, I've been occupied with other things. I could go on and on about busy holidays, rushed last minute shopping, haggling with downtown wholesale vendors, and eating delicious bacon wrapped hotdogs from a streetcart with the money I saved haggling. However, I just don't have it in me to wax poetically these days. Suffice it to say - holidays were good. Glad to get back to routine. So, I am here for just a moment to relate one tidbit.

HAYDEN CAN RIDE A BIKE!

We took his training wheels off yesterday and he took off like he's been riding independently for years. Getting started from a stopped position is a challenge, but he definitely has the balance once he gets started. Although Filllip and I have discussed at length where each of the kids' characteristics come from, I can say definitively- he gets this from his Dad.

I'm so proud of my little boy!!!

How We Celebrated Hayden's 4th Birthday, and Celebrated, and Celebrated....

Friday night
We had our weekly Shabbat dinner with Fillip's parents. My mother-in-law had called to consult me on what kind of icecream cake Hayden might like. Unbeknownst to me, Hayden had declared himself anti-icecream. When I handed him a piece he whined "No Mommy! I wanted strawberries first!" How do I tell him he must eat all his icecream cake before he can have fresh fruit? Not to mention, how is that my son if he doesn't like icecream? I must have overloaded him on icecream en utero with my twice daily Banana Royale Sundaes from Baskin Robbins. It takes some effort to put 50+ lbs on this frame! He dutifully took a couple bites, but not enthusiastically. Silly kid.

Saturday- Hayden's actual birthday
We woke up Saturday morning and asked Hayden if he would like to eat breakfast at home or go out. He was very specific about where he wanted to go, so we headed to our former stomping grounds, and reminded ourselves of why we would go to that particular coffee shop so frequently. The staff is so familiar and friendly, the food far superior to the other places we go. As we walked in, Hayden announced to the dining room at large that it was his birthday and he is now Four. Logan backed him up saying "He da buhthday man." Towards the end of breakfast, while I took Hayden to the bathroom, our server asked if they could bring him a birthday sundae. Fillip said sure, but warned them he may not eat it. Sure enough. They brought 2 scoops of icecream over a cookie, smothered in chocolate syrup and marshmallow fluff. While they sang, Hayden sat there looking like he was having an awkward social moment. He had already told us he was full, and established the ban on icecream the night before. He quietly thanked them, then when the staff walked away he looked at us and said "Do I have to eat this?" No, I'll take care of it, son. Just pass it right over here!

We spent the day doing various errands to get ready for the party on Sunday. Hayden's only birthday present request was a big toy kitchen he had seen in December. Do you want a racetrack? No. Do you want Bob the Builder stuff? No. Do you want any, ahem...boys stuff? No, just my kitchen please. So, Fillip spent about an hour building it. It is a really cool blue wooden kitchen set with knobs for the stove, and buttons for the microwave. The sink handles work as well, and the boys are having a blast pretending to serve up various dishes, and clean their kitchen. It's really cute. After all, they see Fillip cook all the time, and often help us cook and bake. They are no strangers to the kitchen. To my future daughters-in-law: You're welcome!

That evening we headed to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. Missy and Marlena met us there. The boys had never been there and were a bit overwhelmed to start. They quickly got the idea and loved the freedom to endlessly put in tokens to take the rides. Logan tried climbing in the "mouse crawl" that goes to the ceiling several times, but kept getting run over by bigger kids. A few words from me and another mom, and he finally got to the top so he could go down the slide. He was so proud of himself, but one time was enough. They each half heartedly at some pizza when it came to the table, then went to play. We didn't try to get them to eat much, but when they came back to the table a little later, they had worked up a better appetite and each devoured another piece. Chuck E. apparently only comes out for reserved birthday parties. I didn't realize this, and as soon as he appeared, Logan shouted "He came!" as if he had sent out an invitation, hoping the invitation was received. He then bolted over to the giant mouse. Well, some of the people at the qualified birthday party were rather exuberant and poor Logan turned tail and ran back to me. Hayden made his way into the fray, so excited to meet this giant mouse we had told him about. I was about to try to get a pic of the boys with Chuck E., then realized they were trying to sing and serve cake for that party. Oops! The kids weren't so enamored anyway. Fillip and I both agreed it was much Chuck E. "Cheesier" than we remembered, but the kids had a great time. Back at our house, Hayden opened some presents Missy had brought, played with her and Marlena for a few minutes, then off to bed. We needed time to finish last minute party details. Well, that and a bottle of wine.

Sunday- Party Day!
Hayden woke up excited to have his birthday party at last. We had a quick breakfast at home then headed to My Gym for birthday madness. The kids had an absolute blast! Basically, the kids go play on all the equipment and participate in games run by the My Gym staff. The grownups chat and munch on snacks (chips, candy, coffee cake, coffee, fruit). Fillip had told me the day before that junk food was required for a birthday party. I grudgingly complied, being a real grinch when it comes to that stuff. Anyway, I had a ball playing with all the kids and trying to capture every moment on film. Hayden had requested sports themed cupcakes, which I had made aplenty. There were baseballs, basketballs, soccer balls and footballs. He later said the football cupcakes were his favorite. The "Happy 4th Birthday Hayden" signs were penants made of sugar cookie dough. Add some juice boxes and you have 20 happy kids! At the end of the party, one staff member announced good news and bad news. The bad news was that the party was over. I quipped that the good news was that I didn't have to clean my house!! As the party broke up, Hayden was excited to hand out goody bags to all his friends. Later when I asked what his favorite part of his party was, he told me it was handing out the goody bags.

We took our two tired, sugar coated boys home to nap for awhile. Logan actually fell asleep in the car holding his balloon and a ring pop. He would later reclaim that ring pop and don a candy necklace for most of the afternoon. I kept wiping him up, but he was covered in sticky sugar all day. I'm not sure he has ever been happier! When they got up from naptime, we played with their new art supplies on the easel (Thank you Missy & Rob!) and opened presents. Hayden enjoys opening presents, but never goes crazy with it. Usually, he loses interest long before we are done. This time, we had a more moderate pile so he participated in all the gift opening. We are now slowly doling out fun new playthings over the next several days. Fillip and I were quite excited to see some "old school" toys like Lite Brite and Shrinky Dinks. I actually remember getting a Lite Brite one year for Chanukah, and playing with Shrinky Dinks. Later in the day, the little boy from next door came over to play while Fillip helped his dad move a refrigerator, then we all had dinner together. The boys just love being together, even though they don't interact all that much. It was a really fun evening, and overall a fantastic day. Hayden told us several times that he had fun with his friends, and is so excited to be Four. The day wasn't quite over for me though, as there were yet more cupcakes to make. There were 20 cupcakes left from the party, which is how many kids there are in Hayden's class. I didn't want to leave out the teachers, so had to make another batch. Fortunately, they went rather quickly, only taking a couple hours to decorate. Yes, that's quickly.

Monday- School celebration
On Monday I brought cupcakes to the school for Hayden's class. Hayden was really excited when I walked in. One boy immediately asked "Are those for me?" I told him one of them was. What I didn't know was that he had just had a birthday as well, and his mom was also bringing cupcakes. The teacher had forgotten about me. The other mom was later than expected, so the teacher had to "edit" the birthday crown to say Hayden's name, and had us go ahead. When I went to go get Logan from his class to join us, he greeted me with "Where da tuptakes?" Smart kid knows how to get to the important stuff. He felt like he was important stuff getting to go to his big brother's class for a little while. Hayden was so happy to have us there and immediately gave Logan a hug and invited his little brother to sit next to him. As always, Hayden looked rather uncomfortable as everyone sang to him. The kids all loved getting to pick which cupcake they wanted, as even the new batch had different sports. I had scrambled on my way over to pick up paper goods, a candle and a disposable camera (my camera battery died at the party on Sunday. Charger mysteriously missing. Both boys claim ignorance.) At one point I noticed that the disposable camera was being passed around as the kids took pictures. Hayden had the camera and was pointing at Logan who was standing still giving his cheesiest camera smile. We should get some interesting shots! After a little while the boys went outside with their classmates to play and I had to get back to work. Logan tried pulling my heartstrings with a very sad face asking to go home with me. About 30 seconds later he was tearing it up around the playground on a bike. I left two very happy kids full of sugar and playing in the sunshine.

So, there are many of you out there who might say that all this birthday shanigans is ridiculous, way too drawn out, and what kid needs to celebrate their birthday four days in a row. I agree, it's completely unnecessary. Yet, I wouldn't have eliminated a single thing we did. I would bake another 100 cupcakes, just to see the look on his face that let us know he feels so special. And, you know what?

He is.

Happy 4th Birthday, Sweet Pea.

Hi, my name is Marlo and...

Most weekend mornings one of us takes the kids to the Starbuck's drive-thru. They usually get the kids cocoa, which we let them call chocolate coffee. That sounds perfectly appropriate, but it is a bit surprising when they know our order so well. Hayden knows Fillip's particulars and my alternate drinks. Yesterday morning Fillip sent Hayden in for my order while I got to sleep in. It actually surprised me that he didn't repeat grande iced fat free caramel macchiato correctly. I mean, what's wrong with that kid? This morning we were working on the fact that whatever I order is fat free. Getting me full fat is a fireable offense. He is very aware of all our tastes and what we eat and drink. Now and then (ok, usually once a week) when we have a cocktail he asks to taste it. We always tell him no because it has alcohol in it. Well, maybe that is too much information.

Tonight he was playing on his toy phone placing our order. This happens often, and they frequently pretend they are on their way to Starbucks. As I was getting Logan in his jammies, Hayden was busy ordering for us: "Hi, I need to get one warm chocolate coffee. Yeah, for me. And a strawberry cold drink for my brother. He likes that. Yeah. Cafe Americano for my Daddy with an add shot. Uh huh. Oh nuffing.(Must have been offered a pastry at this point.) But also, a grande vanilla latte for my Mommy. That one needs alcohol in it." Do you see the problem here? I'm sure it's obvious to you as well. He forgot the fat free. Otherwise, it sounds perfect.

Hayden- Nearly 4 Years Old

It's been awhile since I gave actual updates with the kids. The thought occurs to me fairly frequently, but these personalities are so big, it's hard to fathom capturing that in just a few paragraphs. Let's see how this goes.

At nearly 4 years old, Hayden is such a fun boy. He loves to play and joke, giving us a goofy grin, or just plain cracking himself up. He is thriving at school, bringing home wonderful worksheets every day. Being unfamiliar with preschool education, I am beyond impressed with every one of these. Sometimes he is asked to count the objects, then circle the corresponding printed number. Other assignments involve discriminating between numbers and letters or many other academic ideas. He can count to 100 and has an uncanny understanding of numbers in general. We give him simple arithmetic problems of addition and subtraction and he just gets it. He knows what sound each letter makes, can write each letter, and can spell his and Logan's name. He doesn't yet grasp that words flow from left to right, and without coaching will write his letters one on top of the other. More like a logo than a name, really. He really enjoys his friends and playtime at school, but it is very difficult to get him to share what he did all day. We are actually quite impressed with his ability to evade direct questions, no matter how cleverly we ask.Maybe he should be an international spy when he grows up. His teachers give good reports of his class participation, and we are told that his temper is very typical for a four year old, and not nearly as bad as some of his classmates. The only thing the teachers would really like to see change is naptime. Hayden will not sleep during the day. He will lay down to "take a rest" but will not get that much needed sleep to get him through the evening. We really believe this has a lot to do with evening meltdowns, but haven't found a solution.

Speaking of that temper- He is becoming the King of Drama. If he isn't happy with something he loudly turns on the waterworks or defiantly yells at us, or both. We find that we need to be super consistent and immediate with discipline to quell the pending rebellion. Once he ramps up, it is very difficult to calm himself down, and the best approach is to let him blow off steam alone until he can pull himself together. He hates when we tell him to sit in his room by himself until he is done crying, but it is often the only way he will take the time to compose himself. We can often avoid these tantrums by warning of any change in activity and letting him know what the plan for the day is. He doesn't always do well with surprises, depending on what they are. If we are on vacation and there is no routine, he goes with the flow very easily. However, if I pick him up from daycare before he has played in the nap room as long as he wanted, I am greeted by angry tears for interrupting his playtime. Wednesday I told him he needed to get it together to go out to dinner and at least pretend to be happy to see me. He gave me the cheesiest fake grin that totally cracked me up. Fortunately, that also broke his tension and he was in a very good mood after that. Hayden does have a desire to be first for everything and win at whatever he is doing. We are trying to convey that you don't win at the dinner table, and getting to the sink first by pushing your little brother down is not the way to go. One of his new complaints is that everything takes "forever" and he "never" gets whatever was just denied. Insert whiny voice here upon being sent to his room for flinging oatmeal: "I never get to finish breakfast! I'm going to be soooo hungry. Lunchtime is taking forever to get here!" We often take forever to get out of the car, despite repeatedly telling him to get a move on. Logan takes forever to wash his hands when Hayden is waiting. Chocolate milk takes forever to get to the table when we are stirring the pasta before hopping to it for him. And, he never gets treats. Ever. Or so he'll have you believe. Last night we really rocked his world by serving the kids dinner first so we could have a romantic Valentine's dinner alone after they went to bed. When I went to check his progress on getting into jammies I was greeted with "I never want to have dinner like this again!" Well, although I feel for him being upset at the change in routine, it will happen again. Not often, but it will. Dinnertime is always a family event, so he doesn't have much concept of Mommy and Daddy time.

The flip side is what I like to consider his true nature. He is a very sweet kid, and often exuberantly appreciative of the little things we do for him. This morning he accepted his oatmeal saying "Oh thank you! Apple cinnamon! I love this kind. Thank you for making it for me, Mommy!" Of course, this had followed a very rough morning of lots of unacceptable behavior and lecturing by me, so I thought it rather funny when he ended this gushing with "See how I changed my attitude?" Yes, thank you. He will often tell us he loves us at random times, and is getting to be very sweet and caring with Logan, especially if Logan has hurt himself. Hayden will go over, put an arm around him and speak to him in a very high caring voice "Are you ok? Do you need me to kiss it better?" Logan always solemnly accepts the offer and all is well. Hayden is very good at sharing, although he also thinks sharing by other kids means handing something to him right away. He seems to play quite nicely with other kids, handing toys off if nicely requested, and holding hands or hugging the other kids. He is very independent, wanting to dress himself, cut his food himself, brush his teeth himself, etc... At this age, it's so great that he can actually do these things, with minimal assistance. Some days he wants to choose his own clothes, but doesn't seem to have too strong an opinion about what he wears. He rarely complains about me handing him clothes to put on, often giving lots of "Oh thank you's!"

Hayden is a very good helper around the house. He does an excellent job cleaning his room and making his bed, often without being asked to do so. He is starting to clear his things from the table, and yesterday folded and put away the empty grocery bags on his own. Cooking is tons of fun as he continues to understand the elements of the baking process and how to use the mixer. As we go through the grocery store, it's not uncommon for him to ask about items I put in the cart saying "Mommy, you bought oil. Are we baking a cake?" Baking remains one of my favorite activties to do with them. He of course loves to help Fillip build anything and help in the yard, and has a good grasp of what each tool is for. He is always active, running, jumping, climbing, or riding bikes. He loves to zoom around the block, and is good about waiting at the corner for us to catch up, keeping him in sight. The training wheels are a must, but I can see improvement in how he handles his bike, and need to start having him do circles in the street to master turning better.

We have a pretty established routine in the evening. Dinner is shortly after arriving home. Hayden is not a picky eater, and will eat most anything. However, he dawdles and plays until we are nearly done, then wants to sit even longer to finish his meal. This is a work in progress, but I think we might be seeing some improvement. Thankfully, we know he should be nutritionally sound as he loves veggies, meat, pasta, rice, and almost anything we put out. He will taste anything, even things he hasn't liked in the past. Mushrooms are one of the few things he doesn't like, yet last night enjoyed the stuffed mushrooms I made. Once the kids are jammied up we read a story before tucking in. This is my favorite time of the day, when we all cuddle up together for a few quiet minutes. Hayden really understands the stories we read, and asks good questions or can answer questions about what we read. His teachers report that he excels at this at school. Given my passion for books, this makes me so happy. With the recent addition of bunkbeds and room sharing, bedtime involves a fair amount of patience, but rarely because of Hayden. He is very good about lying down, getting a snuggle, and going to sleep. Once asleep, he is a rock and rarely wakes during the night. If he does wake up, usually something is wrong so we are very responsive. This happens maybe twice a year, maybe. He doesn't fight sleep at night, and will sleep until his brother wakes him around 6:30am. Last week he started telling me a story as if it had actually happened. It took a few minutes to realize that he was telling me about a dream.

Each day we are amazed at what a big kid he is. Not physically of course, he's a little peanut. In all other ways we see what we remember about childhood. He plays games we remember and uses expressions we used. He is recently aware of our music, and I just thought him so cool as I realized he was singing Stay Up Late by The Talking Heads. It's nice that the song requests aren't just Wheels on the Bus anymore. Hayden is so full of emotion and motion all the time, except for when he finally crashes at night. He is so fun to have around, and excellent company most anywhere. It's hard to believe that he was once this tiny baby, but I am enjoying getting to know this developing human being everyday. I love my Sweet Pea more than I could have ever imagined, and just hope that he is somehow absorbing that as he does so much other information.