Wednesday, May 03, 2006

All tore up

The fracture is very minor and not the cause of my pain, swelling and bruising. I have a level 3 sprain meaning I completely, or near completely tore the ligament. The doc casted it to my knee and said to keep it elevated above my heart for a week. I love the blue color of the cast, which is a good thing since I am stuck with it for now. I haven't yet spoken to my boss and don't look forward to that conversation. The pain is bearable (especially after two babies!) which is lucky since I can only take Tylenol while nursing. Having my entire body hurt is what is driving me crazy.

Fillip is struggling to take care of all of us, and apparantly I'm not grateful. So, I am continuing to ask him for very little and saying Thank You louder than I was before (since he "hadn't heard me say it once!") and somehow we will get through this. I am fully aware of my frustration and crankiness, but really don't think I am asking for much from Fillip. Guess I was wrong. He is juggling a lot right now and I understand that. He wants to take care of us all, but we all know how difficult it is to do everything. Captain Hero shot down my suggestion of a cleaning lady, choosing to take it as a criticism of what he isn't doing. I couldn't seem to convey that I was sympathetic to all he needed to do and thought that would be helpful; that it is unfair to expect him to do everything when we weren't able to keep up the house together. No dice.

Not surprisingly, Hayden is started to act out and was very surprised yesterday when I hopped off the couch to enforce my order to go to his room. It was not easy or comfortable to do, but since I can't easily get up, he needs to listen to what I tell him. Generally though, he is so sweet. He kisses my foot to make it better, is happy to help when I want him to bring me things, and is just so cute in general. If my crutches or slipper are across the room, he will bring them over, insisting I should have them right next to me.

I'm trying to keep this in perspective, that people go through so much worse, for much longer times, with less or no resources, but it still sucks.

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