Thursday, June 22, 2006

Apparantly, two year olds are tasty

Hayden continues to bite others at school. Although he has gotten a positive report here and there, most days we are hearing from his teacher about his inappropriate behavior toward his classmates. We are at our wits' end. We think he is craving attention, and are trying to give him more personal attention at home, while making sure time-outs are free from any interaction other than putting him back in the chair.

At school one day, he got sent to the Director's office for awhile, then back to his class where he immediately bit another kid. He spent the remainder of the day in the Director's office. The next day, he didn't want to stay at school and the teacher promised Fillip would call him before naptime (before consulting Fillip about this.) Fillip didn't have time, so I called. Before speaking with Hayden, I spoke with the school Director, who told me about another "incident." She had gone to visit the class, and as soon as she left, Hayden bit his teacher! He then told the teacher to call the Director so he could go to her office. He is only 2 years old! The Director came to talk with him, but said he would spend time with her when he was behaving and had to return to class. We determined that he would be isolated from the other students when he acts out by standing in a corner in the classroom. He would miss whatever activity was going on at that time, hoping he will realize that the consequences of hurting others are not fun.

We learned later that instead of doing this, his teacher is taking him outside with her, talking with him, and holding his hand. This is the exact opposite of what we agreed would happen, as we feel it is reinforcing the behavior. We spoke with the Director again, and she suggested having him spend time in the Threes class as it might be more stimulating, structured better for him. They get split into smaller groups, while learning similar curriculum. We are all also beginning to speculate that his teacher may not be a good match for him given recent events and the timing of when this all developed.

When Fillip dropped him off today, his teacher said he wouldn't be going to the other class, putting him in the corner is against licensing and that if he acted out he would be sent home. All in front of Hayden. Fillip was fit to be tied when he left, feeling like this teacher is undermining everything, and completely disregarding any plan of action we come to with the school Director. Not to mention, lying about licensing regulations. We are so frustrated. So, I called and spoke with the Assistant Director (the Director is at a meeting today) who is totally on board with us, and let me know that his teachers comments this morning were inaccurate and inappropriate.

Hopefully, being in the Threes class this morning, he is having a better day and we can start resolving this problem. We think that class may be a permanent thing, as the teacher in the Twos class clearly isn't willing to work with us or the Director of the school in a consistent manner. We truly recognize that this can't continue, whatever the source is, but we can't hope to make much progress if we feel the person he spends so much time with is perpetuating it.

He is such a sweet boy generally and it is so sad to see him constantly in trouble, and now choosing to play by himself rather than with other kids. He was brought into the Baby Room this week to see Logan and was so gentle with those kids. I don't know if this is realistic, but maybe he is going through some sort of slight depression, as he has had some trouble falling asleep lately and hardly eats his dinner. Poor little guy. How can a parent know exactly what is best in a situation like this? There is such a fine balance between supporting his obvious need for attention and making sure he feels loved and secure unconditionally, while being stern enough to teach him what is unacceptable and motivate him to stop that behavior.

1 comment:

Cari said...

This is hard stuff to deal with. I hope all works well with your son in his new class. Keep me posted.