My Left Foot...

is fine. My right one, however, is broken.

I was holding Logan and going out our side door and somehow missed a step. I went down HARD and felt like Logan flew onto the concrete. (He is fine, which I will get to, but just want to avoid any extra worry here!) I was screaming in pain and for Fillip. When he came out I just kept screaming for him to get the baby. Once Fillip got me up and in the house (I fell in the sprinkling of cat litter around the box, just to add insult to injury! f-ing cats!) I nursed Logan, but he kept falling asleep. We rushed off the ER, stopping numerous times to wake up Logan. Hayden would call from the backseat "baby eyes closed" and we would pull over, Fillip would scoop L out of his carseat and make sure he was awake (and therefore annoyed and screaming) before going further.

Once we arrived at the ER, Fillip dashed in with Logan while I waited in the car. It seemed like forever before they stopped hassling Fillip with paperwork and would actually look at Logan. After the initial eval, they sent him on the the ER Express (express, my ass) where we waited for 2 hrs to be seen. He got a clean bill of health and we gave a great sigh of relief. To Logan's relief, he was finally able to go to sleep and Fillip took him to my MIL to meet up w/ Hayden while I waited for xrays. My MIL had met us at the ER to take Hayden. Since Fillip rushed in w/ Logan leaving me in the car, my MIL eventually went in to have medical staff retrieve my sorry self in a wheelchair. MIL then moved the car and made sure I was checked in before taking Hayden.

Hayden was sooo good through all this as he was really freaked out. Before we left he refused anything to eat (very unlike him) and throughout the day would start bawling at the slightest hint of stress. It didn't help that this was all precipitated by a blowout fight, for which I can't express my regret enough (for the kids, not Fillip who was being extremely unreasonable and I was reacting poorly). The only good part of that was Hayden was in the car when I actually fell, so was spared the sight and sound of me on the ground howling.

I see an orthopedist tomorrow to get more info. Today I am home alone and so frustrated by the whole thing. We were worn out emotionally by fear for Logan and I am worn out physically. I'm supposed to be flat on my back to elevate my foot above my heart. (Something I am achieving occasionally) I seemed to have also wrenched my back and my chest and shoulders are sore from the crutches. I have no upper body strength and am struggling to do anything. Just getting a drink of water is tough because I can't use the crutches and carry the glass. My boss isn't happy with me. Dh is stressed out. ughh!! Oh yeah, and our vacation, which we booked on Sat is non-refundable. First vacation in years and I don't know if I will be on crutches!

Things could always be worse, as I keep telling myself. This will pass, but until it does what a pain! I have made one decision..we are getting cleaning lady! We weren't keeping up as it is, and now Fillip simply cannot do everything. So there!