Bershecht

It's no secret that ever since losing Conan and Voodoo I've desperately missed them. Although it was painfully sad to see Voodoo pass away, it's been particularly hard to have lost Conan, because we don't know what happened to him. I've dreamt of him coming home, see cats around the neighborhood that resemble him, and just miss him terribly.

I've wanted to get a kitten for quite awhile now, and Fillip has been the uncharacteristically practical-minded one opposing a new cat. However, by yesterday I'd had enough of living without any cats, as it was the first time ever that I'd been without one, so I took a stand. Yesterday I said I was going to get a cat. We went over all the reasons why that wasn't a good idea, and although they are all valid, I said I wanted to get one anyway. After Fillip left for work, the kids and I went to buy supplies for bringing home a new kitten- litter box, food, toys, etc... Then we went over the East Valley Animal Shelter. They didn't have what we wanted, so after lunch and naps we headed out again to the West Valley Animal Shelter. I almost brought home a 3 yr old Bengal mix, but just wasn't sure she was the right fit. She was understandably nervous, but unpredictable. Despite the tears in Hayden's eyes, we left without a new cat. I was feeling rather silly for having bought supplies for a new cat, when we had no cat.

After we all got home we ordered pizza. As Fillip was paying the delivery guy, I heard him trying to shoe something out of the way. In our house that could be anything, but he sounded really insistent and surprised. After a few tries, a cat insisted on coming right in! He walked in, looked around and started purring. Of course, 3 little kids immediately descended with loud voices, fast movement and some tail pulling. This cat didn't even flinch. When I picked him up he just melted into me. Within 10 minutes he had made himself right at home, even sprawling out in the middle of the floor while we got the kids situated for dinner. I immediately noticed his uncanny resemblence to Conan, but we thought he was a kitten (about 9 mos old) because he is so little, not to mention skin and bones.

By late last night I'd nearly convinced myself that Conan had returned to us after over 2 yrs missing. I can't even describe how much they look alike with few variations that are subtle and could be explained by 2 yrs of aging and being on the streets. Not to mention, I know this cat, and he knows me. It seems weird, but he just knew I needed a cat and showed up. I figured that since he was obviously so comfortable in the house, insistent on coming in and wanting to be close to us, how could it not be Conan, as far fetched as that would be? Of course the odds of a cat who was nearly 16 yrs old when he disappeared over 2 years ago surviving this long, then returning home is pretty low...it could happen, right?

So, today I took him to the vet to have him checked out and see if I could verify who he is. Well, he is Conan...but reincarnated in another cat. As crazy as it was, I had been so thrilled to be reunited with that beloved pet, that I balled like a baby in the vet's office at the very logical news that this is a different cat. It was like saying goodbye all over again. However, it is probably best that this isn't Conan. Having an 18 yr old cat would mean potentially high vet bills, possibly a messy illness and passing to deal with...and another goodbye.

This little guy chose our family for some reason beyond my understanding, but we are absolutely floored that he is here. He is so sweet, goodnatured with the kids, completely comfortable here and already a part of this family. He and Doris are still working on an uneasy truce, but they are fine as long as she doesn't get her nose too close to his. The vet says he is 7-8 yrs old. I declined the full bloodwork panel (and add'l $145 on the bill) figuring we'll fatten him up a bit, then see how he seems. So far, he is very calm, sleeps a lot, but also wanders around to be near us and seems to be eating and drinking well. He uses the box no problem. I can't help but see him as another cat, but I think that will change as we learn more of his personality and give him a name. 

Sometimes life happens in ways we just can't explain, but that's what makes it so amazing.

Happy 1st Birthday Sutton!

We can't believe that Sutton is already 1 year old! This year has gone by in a flash. Sutton has spent this last year charming each and every one of us. His big brothers are constantly entertaining him, carrying him around, playing with him....waking him, etc.... Some days they hop on in the crib with him! He equally adores them and we aren't sure, but he might already say a form of  "brother." Fillip is convinced he also says Dada with meaning, along with a couple other words, but I'm not quite sure.

This little guy is our first picky eater. He isn't even consistent about what he likes and doesn't like. For awhile cheese was the best, but now he won't even taste it. Also on the Loved It But Now Hate It List is cereal with fruit in it (although this morning he ate it with just cinammon), yogurt, and several other foods. Current faves are all fruit, especially strawberries and bananas. As soon as he sees the bananas in the shopping cart he goes crazy! Typically, I give him a "fruit pouch" with fruit puree in it to get him through the checkout line. Speaking of shopping carts - he usually gets to stand in the basket rather than strapped in the seat. He can wiggle out of most commercial buckles, and did quite the acrobat act from the seat to the  basket, head first at Trader Joes. A ...ahem....let's say well meaning lady told me "I always use the buckle. It's really helpful." I curtly told her he was buckled, which is why he was hanging there upside down, rather than falling all the way in. As Hayden would say "DUH!" As Logan would say "Mind yoh own business." Anyway......   Despite the shopping cart acrobatics, he flirts with everyone in the store, and is a very sly Secret Shopper...throwing stuff in and out of the cart.

Within a couple weeks of his birthday he cut his first two teeth, learned to walk, and got his first black eye. The black eye was related to the walking, but he's fine. Screamed more about applying ice than anything else. Teething has been rough for him, spiking a 102-103 F fever with each tooth for about 3 days. This comes replete with late night waking and daytime fussiness. So, our first normal kid, I suppose.

Despite my seeming whining, he is such a doll. In general, he just goes with the flow, goes to bed easily, hangs out around the house or whereever we are, and is a happy little sweetheart. He loves  to play in his room with us these days. He likes to lie on the ground and play "Steam Roller" or come running to me to throw himself into my arms again and again. My nose makes his ribs extremely ticklish and I love his giggle. His older brothers make him giggle just by being themselves. He also laughs when other people do with the cutest little "ha HA!" He's got a series of noises that we all repeat after him. Some silly, and some demanding, but all cute. The shriek isn't so cute. He is starting to follow simple directions with a few misunderstandings. When I told him to close the bathroom door he thought I said drawer. Very cute. When I tell him no, he will usually stop what he is doing, such as playing in the trashcans. However, he seems to think that "Thank you! Good listening!" actually means "Please, carry on with what you were doing." These days we have to keep the bathroom doors closed because he treats the toilets as his own personal birdbath. Eywww!! He and Doris the Dog seem to have a thing together. He loves her! She is very good with him, putting up with being poked, pulled, crawled on, stepped on, etc... When he takes the toy she is playing with, she plays a gentle Tug-O-War with him.

Suttton still takes 2 naps a day, but all three boys go to bed around the same time. Sutton sleeps the night until his brothers make enough of a ruckus in the morning to wake him up. He has always been extremely patient about getting to eat. Typically, I make sure the other boys have their breakfast and lunches packed before Sutton gets to nurse. Some days he get's some Cheerios to hold him over, but usually he just plays until I'm ready. He loves to snuggle, especially with Fillip. He doesn't like me to snuggle him much at bedtime, but as he is playing throughout the day, he will come over to be held for just a minute before getting back to playing. Although he has plenty of toys, he'd rather pillage cabinets, trash, his brothers' room, etc.... We should ask for cardboard boxes and wrapping paper only for his birthday!

Everyday I am so very thankful to be home with this little boy. Each day with him is full of overwhelming joy. He has brought even more love into this house, as each and every one of us love and adore him. I'm so proud of how Hayden and Logan treat him and have adjusted to a baby in the house. Although there were some rockier moments, overall they have been great. They are loving, fun and nurturing to him. They watch out for his safety, and sometimes overwhelm Sutton in trying to play with him. We are so very, very blessed to have these three amazing boys.

Sutton has had a fun first birthday. He had a cookie at breakfast, a chocolate muffin at lunch and icecream at dinner. He got pictures taken at the mall, rode a little train, played at school with his big brothers and friends, dinner at the mall, first carousel rides and rode the train again, as well as being carted around in a fire engine stroller. Mommy was happy because he kept his birthday crown on. :) We all had a great time together, and a very happy birthday boy.

I can't express how much I love my Sutton Button. What a lucky Mommy I am.

Happy 7th Birthday, Hayden!

Seven years ago today, the most important chapter of our lives began. All those years of thinking life was full and good, that we were tired and busy....were a total sham. The day we became parents, real meaning entered our lives in the form of our unique and gifted boy.

Hayden is surprisingly nurturing and sensitive, yet can battle endlessly with Logan. When it comes to Sutton, he is amazing. He protects and cares for him, is happy to feed him or check that he is playing safely, and gets the deepest belly laughs from that baby. Yet, he can be petty, bossy and selfish with Logan to no end. They want to play together constantly, create games and scenarios, run around wildly and snuggle up together to read or play video games...except sometimes. Sometimes, it gets ugly. Fortunately, I do see a very loving bond with those close age brothers, and it is obvious whenever one of them is hurting, sad, or needs some support to execute a game or get a bandaid.

In school, Hayden absolutely LOVES tetherball. We hear endless analysis of the different types of tetherball hits and who won that day. By his account, he is probably the 2nd or 3rd best player out there, losing only to older kids most of the time. In class, he is wonderful. He thrives on academic work, usually finishing first as is his goal. He reads at a 3rd or 4th grade level, and we often tell him that walking to the car or sitting in the bathroom for an hour isn't the appropriate time to  be reading. We let him know settling in with a good book for an afternoon rest is much better. He escapes to a world of fiction, and I totally get it. Having been "that" kid, I'm so glad he loves stories, as it will be a gift he will enjoy his entire life.



Enough with the camera Mommy!



He is very excited today about his big Seventh Birthday! The celebration has begun with me getting up early to make his favorite breakfast of french toast. About 4 dozen cupakes are ready to go for school and baseball today. Sunday we will be having a party for his friends at a mini-golf place. These 7 years seem to have flown by with so many losses and new arrivals in our lives. Through it all, we have had the wonderful blessing of a child who loves to say I am the Best Mommy In the Whole World, and who still likes a good snuggle and a kiss. He has a funny sense of humor, gets our sarcastic wit and enjoys a good pun. Before long, he will be unknowingly breaking hearts with a shake of that silky hair and a gaze from those gorgeous green eyes. That smile will set many hearts aflutter, as it does mine. How very blessed we are to parent this sweet, complex child.

I'll smile for your picture, but it won't interrupt me getting
more Chuck E. Cheese tokens. There are tickets to be won!

Brain dump

Time marches on. I guess a quarterly update is a big improvement over my recent rate of blog entries. Our trio of rascals is quite a handful. They are a tightknit bunch, even at these young ages. I thought I'd dump an update out of my brain. Took so long, very little editing is going to happen. :)

Hayden (nearly 7 years old)-

Hayden is having a wonderful 1st grade year. He adores his teacher and is thriving in her class. He loves the academic challenges of having a homework packet that covers the whole week and the control he can exercise over how much to complete each day, the timed "math skills" quizzes he takes each week, and her phenominal positive reinforcement/reward system that prevades every aspect of her class on and individual and team basis.

When on the playground, his favorite sport is tetherball, alternated (on a very specific schedule he created) with kickball. We get long, detailed explanations of the rules and finer points of tetherball. Hayden is eagerly awaiting the magical day Logan enters 1st grade, thereby earning access to the Big Yard and ready to have the Secrets of Tetherball revealed like ancient wisdom passed down by older brothers. He is also playing baseball in the Pinto division again.  We are so proud of the consistent improvement he makes by applying his attention and practice to the game. Another favorite pastime continues to be having his nose buried in a book. It's not uncommon for him to find time over the weekend to relax on his bed with a new story for an hour or so. We make sure Logan respects that time, despite his constant need for interaction.

Hayden is a good big brother to Logan, with all the bickering that comes with siblings close in age. However, he is absolutely wonderful with Sutton. He is so caring and fun with that baby, it's hard to believe he isn't even 7 years old yet. He shows a high level of responsibility for the baby, very rarely showing any sign of impatience. I've often heard people talk about the bond between the oldest and youngest and we will definitely have to be mindful the keep Logan feeling enmeshed in this dynamic. Hayden continues to be very sweet and flattering, often telling me I'm "The Best Mommy in the Whole World."

One thing that is new this year is a sense of self consciousness and fear of being teased. Kids his age already do that and he makes much effort to avoid it. It breaks my heart to think of him being teased, yet I know it is one of life's harder lessons. It doesn't seem to happen particularly often, and we try to talk to him and give him tools to handle typical playground smack.

Logan (5 1/2 years old)-

Logan loves being in kindergarten. He has made so many new friends and shown a huge leap in maturity in just the last few months. He catches on to academic concepts quickly, and his penmanship was held up as an example of how nicely a boy can write. He also talks CONSTANTLY in class and it is difficult to get him to stay on task. When it comes to doing his homework, it is no different. Just getting a pencil and sitting down is a project, and we are working on a sticker chart/reward system to get this in line. We are starting to see some improvement as he realizes the benefits of making the right choices, but it is an uphill battle. Despite our belief in strict discipline, we don't want him feeling bad all the time, so are  trying make sure to frequently "catch him being good" and praise, praise, praise!

He remains such a great helper, seeking out ways to participate in household chores with me. He still needs so much physical affection and snuggling and is a very sensitive soul. Lately, when he hurts himself, he immediately gets mad that nobody cares about him, but doesn't actually give us a chance to ask if he is ok. This has been a tough year on him and we see it come out in different ways. Until about a week ago, he was still coming into bed with me a couple times a week to snuggle.

He is very protective of Sutton, loves to play with him, but more likely to get a little annoyed. Logan remains an early riser, which I suspect will never change. So long as he learns not to wake the neighborhood, or even our house, we will be very happy. Despite rising so early, he wakes up chipper as can be, singing and dancing, an irrepressible ray of singing sunshine. He is also playing baseball in the Shetland division. We've seen great strides from him already this season with him really improving his skills. Once he focuses, he does great. Although the boys both chose baseball over soccer, I sometimes feel like soccer would be better. All that time sitting in the dugout or on the field gets boring for a little kid!

Sutton (9 months)- Adorable. He is absolutely adorable. Sutton continues to be more charming everyday. He has a way of singling someone out, then engaging them in laughter and fun noises. Whether it is me or Fillip chasing him around the kitchen counter yelling "Peek a Boo!" around each bend, or cracking up at his brothers' antics in the car, he is truly a little bundle of pure joy. He cruises all over the place, briefly letting go to move to something else, or sitting down in a controlled balanced movement. He walks with a pushtoy, much to his delight. He will even walk with us holding just one hand. Because he fell backward and bumped his head the first couple times he stood independently, he is very cautious about that. Fine by me as I don't need my 9 month old walking! Playing in his brothers' room is  a favorite pastime. There's all kinds of interesting stuff in there! Pushing little cars around is fun, but nothing compares to obtaining a real phone or television remote. If he sees one nearby, he will do everything in his power to reach it, straining, stretching, going on tiptoes...whatever he can to get it. It's very funny to watch such a tiny person with so much determination.

Last month he gave up his late night meal and now goes to bed around the same time as the other boys. This makes bedtime a bit hectic, but frees up the evening. He still takes 2-3 naps each day, with the longest one being in the late morning if we are home. If we are out, he rarely sleeps even if it means staying up all day long. He has to be pretty zonked to sleep in public, and it is usually just a powernap. He flirts endlessly with the other parents at school pickup and has a reputation for his beaming smiles and sparkling blue eyes. He is an excellent eater, having never refused anything until yesterday. Peas were definitely not acceptable. That was clear. Today I saw him clapping, but he still doesn't do it on cue. He does know where everyone's noses are, although when that game began, he thought any nose was the one on Fillip's face. Where's Logan's nose? He'd look for Fillip. That's been straightened out, but I can't seem to teach him his own nose.

For awhile now he has really enjoyed storytime. About 3 months ago, we were on the couch and his Goodnight Moon book was behind me. He crawled up me and grabbed it from over my shoulder. Then he handed it to me and settled back down into my lap, clearly "asking" for a story. He listened to the entire book. I said to Fillip "Did he just ask for a story." Fillip- "Um...yeah. I think he did." He still loves that book, and gets a big grin as soon as he hears the first couple lines. He loves to turn the pages and look at the book every which way. Often, he will sit on the couch when I read to the others, but usually gets restless and disruptive after a few minutes.

Yesterday he discovered the kitchen trashcans. Today he discovered how to open the oven warming drawer. Yikes. He is into everything! No teeth yet, which is fine by this nursing mommy. Once he gets tired, he likes to snuggle in our arms for a few minutes before going to sleep. I think Fillip puts him to sleep before putting him in his crib. I put him down awake, and he falls asleep pretty quickly. However, last weekend while in Lake Tahoe, I put him down for his nap and he tricked me. He cried for a few minutes, then quieted down as usual. When I went in awhile later, he was just sitting quietly playing with a toy! He adores his brothers more than anyone, and giggles endlessly at their silliness. When they are at school, Doris the Dog is a weak substitute, although today they were playing tug-o-war with her rope toy. It was unbelievably cute.

Doris- Oh yeah. We got a dog. Not my brightest idea, but it does make me more secure when Fillip isn't home. She is very sweet, is learning some manners, very trainable, and a total pain in my ass. But..did I mention she is sweet? So, at least she's got that goin' for her. She's a 2 year old pound puppy with great potential.

Mary Kay- I'm still plugging along with my Mary Kay business. Finding a work/parent/wife balance is extremely challenging. Time management even more so. However, when I find the time to put into it, the rewards are immediate and I truly enjoy it. I'm working toward earning my first free car this summer, with Directorship shortly after that. Free facial anyone? Seriously...anyone? :)

General- In the last few months  we enjoyed Chanukah with family and friends, celebrated New Year's at home with some ridiculously sticky silly string, made it through 3 long weeks of Winter Break, and took a trip to Lake Tahoe.

Nobody is going to call me a Domestic Diva, but our family does run better with me home. Being gone 12 hours a day would never work for us at this point. Fillip is working endless hours and our brood needs me here. Despite getting back 60 hours a week from Corporate America, I find myself with no spare time. My priorties are so different now, and a highlight of my day was the amazing results achieved from my new steam mop. Silly, but this family is lucky they weren't eating supper off my environmentally friendly sanitized floors!

Seems like I am running out to pick up the kids after I just dropped them off. Not unique, I know and I am NOT complaining. But, I am tired and still looking to hit a groove of running a family, running our house, and running a business while simultaneously getting the dog out of my way and enjoying the blessings of each day. All in all, I feel extremely lucky for all that I have.

Apparently this August post never got published

Clearly, blogging has not made my list of priorities in the last few months! So, I'll try to summarize a few things that I want to remember for posterity.

The last few months of my pregnancy were fairly uneventful. Although I was tired and uncomfortable, it was the best part of the pregnancy. I attempted to mindfully enjoy being pregnant, knowing it was the last time I would experience the wonder of a new life growing inside me. Of course, that was challenging, as our baseball season was all-consuming with the boys on different teams, Fillip being Assistant Coach on one team and Manager on the other, and me holding a board position as T-Ball Division Coordinator. All this in addition to both holding down jobs and each getting a business up and running while keeping the kids up to date with school commitments!

Family Update at Long Last

Turns out, it isn't so easy for me to blog with three kids and a new business. I had imagined myself being this Domestic Superwoman if I could be home, but there is much room for improvement! Being that my last post was when I was 7 months pregnant, I'm going to try to just hit some highlights since then. I'm forgetting and/or leaving out a million details, but it's better than nothing. It is rather Sutton-centric, but that is how I've tracked our last few months. Don't worry - the bigger boys are faring just fine!

May 19th- After 3 nights of prodromal labor, holding onto the fence at Hayden's baseball game while laboring, laboring at dinner, then all night and morning at the hospital - Sutton Joshua entered our lives! He is a perfect, healthy beautiful baby boy. From the start, Sutton has been an easygoing, natural addition to our family. His big brothers absolutely adore him. When they came to visit in the hospital a few hours after his birth, they both climbed on the bed with me and asked to hold him. Logan carefully took him, held him for about two minutes, then handed him back. Hayden snuggled him for quite awhile, quietly kissing his face and rubbing his own cheek on Sutton's soft downy hair. I will cherish that memory always.

Sutton 2 months old - By two months, Sutton had started sleeping the night. There was no sign of colic, which was a huge relief! He is oh so patient, wakes up cheerful and smiling to see everyone. He is sleeping in our bed much more often than agreed upon, but given it is my last baby and I'm the one tending him 24/7, I've rocked the boat a bit and love it. Otherwise, he sleeps in the bassinet next to our bed. For some reason at this age he reject Fillip completely for a couple weeks. Without rhyme or reason he would cry whenever Fillip came near. With an equal lack of rationality, Fillip then became his favorite person. He loves to sit in his Bumbo seat and watch everything that is going on. During meals, we put it on the table, and he distracts his brothers by flirting with them one by one. A friend's 3 year old daughter gave him a little "Silky Bear" lovey, and he took to it right away.

Watching his brothers play in the pool

Sutton 3 months old - At this point, we get lots and lots of smiles and giggles, but mostly only for his brothers. He babbles a bit with a "ollie ollie ollie" sound, among others. We hit the road on a 3300 mile roadtrip to Anacortes, WA. Along the way we tour the Pacific Northwest and the kids are full of questions about volcanoes and islands. Although there was much travel weariness, it was a great trip with wonderful sightseeing. Most of all, we got to visit with many people we love. The boys handled it very well, although it was madness every single time we checked into a hotel. Sutton stopped sleeping the night since he had to spend so much time sleeping while driving during the day. I'll try to journal our trip best as possible at some point. On our trip, we celebrated Logan's 5th birthday by going to the Portland Zoo and Oregon State Fair. He chose to forgoe a party to celebrate with our Davis, CA friends.

Fort Bragg, CA

Sausalito, CA (I think)

Portland Zoo on Logan's 5th Birthday
September 3, 2010
Oregon State Fair on Logan's 5th Birthday
September 3, 2010


Sutton 4 months old - Rolling is the best mode of movement now. He loves to play with toys and grabs for them. He now throws himself out of the Bumbo seat so that has been put away. Sleeping is better, but not consistent. He now sleeps in his crib in his room, which is bittersweet for me. After a very uncharacteristic 30 minute crying spell, a trip to the doctor resulted in a reflux diagnosis. He feels much better now that he has medicine. He is growing by leaps and bounds, and continues to be our largest kids by far at each milestone. He is still adored by his older brothers. Logan has started kindergarten and Hayden is now in 1st grade. They love their teachers and going to school, making lots of new friends and seeing old ones as well. Logan is struggling with some resentment regarding Sutton, but is dealing with it. He remains loving to the baby, while lashing out verbally at us. Fortunately, is able to express what is bothering him and we spend time talking about it. Hayden mildly experiences this, but doesn't seem to struggle with it as much. Baseball is back in full swing and the boys have each moved up a division. They are doing great, and we are so proud of them. Silky Bear was briefly lost, and a replacement purchased. The replacement was rejected, and we got to see how attached he had been. Fortunately, Silky Bear was found.

Sutton 5 months old - Crawling is now the best mode of getting around. It is a funny inchworm type of motion, but gets him where he wants to be. Food us a new addition and he loves to eat! He remains such a sweet, chipper kid. One of his favorite noises is a growling sound that he seems to direct at people with a twinkle in his eye. Because he has started eating, he now sits in the high chair. We see lots of waving, but it doesn't seem very voluntary, unless it is just expressing excitement. He continues to be so patient within our busy lifestyle. We make the decision that I will not be returning to my job after maternity leave, and am ramping up my Mary Kay business. It is such a joy to get to pick up my kids from school, know the other families and be involved with their classes. There is a great deal of stress for me to find balance to care for our family, keep the house clean and stocked and build my business. I'm not a wild success, but am doing my darndest to get there. Halloween was lots of fun with Hayden as Darth Vader, Logan as a Power Ranger, and Sutton as a Happy California Cow. I didn't get a good pic of the older two in costume, unfortunately.

Sutton 6 months old - It's so fun to stand up in the crib! Our silly guy now stands up on everything, and is so proud of himself. I am now mindful to lock the glider rocker chair, and lift up the footstool to avoid smushed fingers and excessive toppling over. When he does fall down, whether he hurts himself or not, he lies prone on his back waiting for someone to pick him up. It's like he plays oppossum with his eyes open, and it cracks us up. He eats a variety of foods, and hasn't tried one yet that he doesn't like. He loves "baby puffs" and is very loud and demanding, squeezing his little fists open and closed when he sees them or wants more of those or any food. The high chair is no longer an option, as he Houdinis right out of the straps and stands up. Our booster seat is much more secure for him. He is now going through separation anxiety with me and a bit with Fillip. However, he regroups quickly once distracted. He continues to growl on cue, but the babbling disappeared several weeks ago. Silky Bear is lost, likely for good.

Sutton 7 months old - He is starting to clap his hands together involuntarily, although there was one day he was doing it on purpose as we cheered him on. He makes a clicking sound with his tongue and raspberry noises. The separation anxiety continues, but it seems a bit better. He is so engaging and seeks out his brothers as much as possible. He is so happy to just play in their room near them, or stand at the couch while they watch tv. He knows his way around the house and crawls all over. Silky Bear II seems to be more accepted these days, especially when he is particularly tired.

Our family truly feels complete with Sutton's arrival. Although each busy day is challenging, it seems like our household has never been happier. I can't express how blessed I feel to have my husband, and three perfect boys.

THANKSGIVING 2010

Happy 6th Birthday, Hayden!

What can I say about my sweet Hayden?

He is still such a combination of young and mature. He has a well developed sense of adolescent indignation, yet retains so much of his small child demeanor. His emotions are strong, yet often he keeps his deeper thoughts to himself. He loves school, and is definitely enjoying kindergarten. An academic environment is exactly what he thrives in, while still striving to overcome some of his challenges when he gets frustrated on the playground. Each night when we ask how his day was, he will give us a detailed description of whatever extra activity was scheduled that day- P.E., Art, Music, etc... He has inherited my love of reading, and devours books. He loves being in the school library, and the librarian knows him well. His reading level is around 3rd grade, and although I don't know how they would classify his math skills, it is definitely well beyond kindergarten. He gets extra homework in the evenings that is more challenging than what was covered in class. He easily identifies numerical patterns, and arithmetic simply comes naturally to him. In his class, he enjoys challenging work, but loses focus when the lessons are easy for him. However, his teacher mentioned that when he is given the responsibility to help another student, he does great. He takes a lot of pride in learning and seems to be coming around to the fact that as smart as he is, there is so much more to know. On the playground, he enjoys playing with his friends and his social and emotional development seem to be right at kindergarten level.

Outside of school, he loves being involved in baseball or going for bike rides. He is always full of energy, yet is content to lie on his bed reading a book, or snuggling up to Logan to read them both a story. Despite his tendency to be reserved with his emotions, he is quite affectionate. Together, it is common to see the boys holding hands, or put their arms around one another. Of course, sometimes that physical closeness erupts into wrestling, pushing, hitting, etc... but mostly they just love being together. Hayden often tries to teach Logan things, whether Logan is interested in learning them or not. We hear Hayden using his "teacher voice" to get Logan to spell something or repeat things. Usually Logan is pretty good-natured about it, but certainly feels comfortable speaking up in protest when he doesn't feel like playing along. When I see Hayden interact with his peers, he is clearly such a big kid now. There is a maturity in him that stands out in contrast to past months, reminding me how independent he is. He seems to have toughened up a bit, no longer getting as upset by minor bumps and bruises, able to play harder with his friends. On our recent trip to Lake Tahoe, I was thrilled to see him fearlessly go down a giant inner tube track by himself, without hesitation, grinning and laughing all the way down. He was impatient with my need to take a picture as he hiked back up, since he was so eager to ride again. He has developed a much stronger sense of adventure, where before his sense of daring was shadowed by his cautious nature. Yet, he is certainly not a reckless kid.

Each night we have pre-bedtime stories. These days, it is usually Hayden reading to us. He seems to take great pride in this, enjoying picking out the story, or graciously asking Logan what he wants to hear. Hayden loves to snuggle at night, and have a little chat at bedtime. Although I know this is partially stalling off sleep, it also seems to be the time of day when his thoughts are flowing, and he feels most comfortable sharing what is on his mind. He will review the day or simply tell me I am the best mommy in the world. He truly has a sweet nature and loves his family.

His birthday celebration was quite modest this year, as our time and energy seem to be at a premium. We kept it very small this year, and out of the house. When we told him he could invite just 5 friends, he enthusiastically gave us a list of 5, without complaining that he wanted more. He has always been so appreciative of the small and big things, without any grand expectations for birthdays. Getting him to answer the question "What would you like for your birthday" is nearly impossible, and he just doesn't seem to think about the potential for gifts. Yesterday we invited just a few of his friends to Farrell's for lunch and time to play on bumper boats and mini-golf. It was so fun to see him playing and interacting with his classmates. They all piled into the booth like puppies, despite the restaurant reserving a long booth with lots of space for us. He was so excited to get to play some arcade games and see all that was in store for him. As each guest arrived, he was ecstatic to see them, and include them in what he was doing. The player piano was a big hit, with all the kids in a bunch at the piano rather than at the table. Pizza brought them back in, and icecream brought them back again. When the staff sounded the birthday siren and brought out the big drum to sing to him, he was clearly at a loss. He stood there politely as they sang, but looked very overwhelmed. This is quite typical of him when we celebrate in a restaurant of any kind. He must have taken on my discomfort of public celebration. (Frankly, he did better than the next kid, who couldn't bear to even turn around to look at the group of people singing to him! ) Hayden more enjoyed when we sang the regular Happy Birthday song to him, and didn't even get upset when one of the younger siblings mistakenly starting blowing out his candles. He just kind of gave her an indulgent look, then blew out the rest. Later, when they went on the bumper boats, I was laughing to see him object so strongly to being squirted, yet opening fire with his squirt gun on everyone he could. He was absolutely soaked when he got off the ride, yet chose to get right back on with the other kids. His girlfriend from school was there, and the two of them played mini-golf together. They have such a fun dynamic, laughing and sparring all at once, without ever seeming in any way contentious. There was no sense of competition to win the game, although they each fiercely defended their alternating turn to go first. When he opened her handmade birthday card and gift later last night, he went and hung to card up on his bulletin board in his room.

This morning I greeted my sleepy birthday boy before I left for work. Although he was happy to be reminded that he is now six, he seemed much more interested in some hugs and snuggles. I will bring cupcakes to school for him, then we are having some family over for dinner tonight. It seems amazing that six years have passed in this journey of parenthood. I feel incredibly lucky to have such a sweet, complicated boy. He is such a joy to to have around. Today I wish him a fantastic 6th birthday, and for each tomorrow thereafter, I hope he always knows how to find his happiness in the world.

Life kicks mundanity's butt

Mundane, my ass. Since that last post, this pregnancy has become "complicated," we have become petless (Conan disappeared, and Voodoo passed away), gone from me lying down 24/7 to gearing back up to having time for about 5 hours of sleep of day, cancelled a trip, taken a trip and jumped head first back into a schedule that is just ridiculous.

The last post sounds oh so peaceful about a routine pregnancy, with just the morning sickness extended, but finally waning. Exercise on the horizon! Hah! I must have jinxed myself. The very next week I landed my ass on the couch on strict bedrest, with strong contractions 5-8 minutes apart round the clock. It was 4 weeks of concern, frustration, and not enough reading material. This encompassed the holiday season, and the any energy reserves Fillip might have once had. He and the boys were great, doing their very best to keep some order and sanity while we wondered if we would in fact get to keep this baby, or if we were in for another loss.

From 17-21 weeks I obediently remained lying down as much as possible, becoming proficient at cleaning the kitchen in 5 minutes bursts on my way to or from the bathroom or obtaining a snack. We played lots of board games on the coffee table, and somehow learned to watch movies all piled on the couch with me lying down under 1-3 male bodies also relaxing on the couch. While I enjoyed getting a guilt-free nap each morning as my guys left for the day, I did not enjoy my inability to participate in bike rides, etc... At the end of this saga, when the contractions seemed to be waning, the docs determined that the contractions were not productive, and sent me packing back to work.

So here I am at 27 weeks, tempting fate by resuming my busier than possible schedule, with little ill results other than complete exhaustion. It took until about a week ago to finally enjoy this pregnancy. I finally feel mostly fine (well, except for the annoying upper respiratory infection, and my body overriding the allergy meds), contractions are strong but sporadic, and my checkups are routine. Phew. Of course, this time around my body seems to have its own idea of how big I should be. Literally, one of my closest family members who hadn't seen me in 2 weeks did a double take and exclaimed in shock when she saw me. No, my size and that reaction don't even bother me. You know what does? Strangers frequently give me sympathetic looks and try to reassure me that I am "almost done" and "it won't be long now." Really? Because, with three more months to go, I feel like I am not almost done, nor should I be.

I may barely be able to walk myself around the block before experiencing crippling round ligament pain, but I am finally enjoying the process. In comparison to my previous pregnancies, I may look about 8 months pregnant, but I love feeling this little boy move inside me, and last night could have sworn I held a little hand through the thin stretched wall of my belly. I remember this feeling of needing to cherish every moment, as the unique and precious time of growing another person will end before I know it. This time I am savoring each sensation, knowing that I will never experience this again. Yeah, you read that right - never. I. Am. So. Done.

I officially quit my gym membership, as I am clearly unable to do much physically. I am under medical orders to lie down for a portion of my workday, and find myself trying to catch my breath just sitting here. Free time is a thing of the past between the 11 hour workday (working hours + commute time), attempting to build my Mary Kay business, and the endless demands brought on by being on the baseball league board requiring 2-3 hours of responding to parents every day. (Seriously people- it's just t-ball. We aren't throwing these kids to the lions.) Oh, and my kids and husband. Housework? If you come to visit, you will see that has clearly not made the list.

What has made my list is a new perspective of priorities, an ability to go lie down and rest when the kids do, to not have an anxiety attack that the dishes aren't done, to schedule a 6 year old's birthday party out of the house, and to make sure I am taking care of myself. I don't feel guilty eating anything I want, or accepting an offer of help to load my groceries into the car when I shop. My pride has been well stowed away and I am not shy about requesting help up from the floor from whomever is nearby. I will even sit there for a few minutes until someone happens along. Watching my son giggle feeling his baby brother move in my belly, and feeling such amazing love when my younger son tells me firmly that I should not be lifting things or bending down,(then struggles for several minutes to load a case of sodas onto the shopping cart) makes me feel good. The fact that I gained 11 pounds in just 4 weeks makes me laugh, and my fetish for chunky applesauce with cinnamon continues unabated.

Life is good in so many ways, but certainly does not feel mundane.

Pregnancy Update - 16 weeks

Since I haven't been documenting this pregnancy anywhere else, I guess my blog is as good a place as any. I have my checkup this afternoon, but don't expect anything newsy to come of it.

At this point, the nausea seems to have mostly subsided at long last. After 10 weeks of feeling my stomach in my throat, this is such a welcome change! Afternoons are still rough, but feel more like heartburn than true "morning" sickness (stupid label! I feel the best in the morning, and get worse throughout the day). I get intensely sleepy at times, but haven't been taking lunchtime naps in my car every day. Just every few days. Eating protein continues to be a challenge, although fried eggs at 11pm go down real easy. Thanksgiving brought me the knowledge that a) turkey is bad and b) all other carbs are good. A dinner of garlic mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, potatoes au gratin, cornbread stuffing and a vegetable to balance out the meal is delicious. On really bad days, which aren't too uncommon, the only viable dinner option is a yogurt. Fillip has been extremely understanding on those evenings when he made a delicious dinner, only to have me reject it for a carton of yogurt. I'm showing as much now as I was at about 6 mos with Hayden, which seems really silly. Especially, since the part bulging the most just beneath my chest is all those organs being pushed up. My uterus is still below my belly button.

One thing I've noticed is that I'm not moving around nearly enough. I spend 2-3 hours a day driving to and from work. Then I sit for 8-9 hours at work. I might go across the street to grab lunch, but even if I take a full hour, I just go sit and read. Part of this is that it is dark by the time I get home, so I'm not comfortable going for a walk. However, I'm already getting restless legs at night and at work. Last night we took a walk as a family after dinner. The boys certainly needed to burn off some energy and I needed to move around. Fillip just needed to chaperone. :) It was really nice, and I told him we will be doing this more often. Next week I intend to get a gym bag together and start going again at lunchtime. There is a gym bag in my desk, but those gym clothes would laugh at me if I tried to squeeze into them. Also, looser, bigger clothes would simply be much more considerate to all the other gym members. If I don't need to nap anymore, I can get my butt moving.

I'm not quite sure, but I think I'm feeling the baby move around. It seems so silly that I was absolutely positive in the 1st two pregnancies, but not quite sure in this one. My only theory is that I didn't pinpoint the sensation until it was strong enough to be unmistakably the baby. I've been feeling little mysterious bubblings now for about 3 weeks. They are getting a little more consistent, and a little stronger. Also, sometimes it is a little more deliberate feeling, rather than that fleeting feeling of gas. This pregnancy has been hardest by far to this point, and I'm looking forward to these enjoyable later trimesters. We have absolutely no potential names on the table as of yet, although we know what initials we will be using. We'll get there.

I think that's about it. Pretty uneventful and mundane. I'm definitely happy about that.

Mystery solved. Problem not resolved.

Recently, I have been wondering how our two elderly cats can pack away the amount of food that they do. I fill their bowl when I go to bed, then they beg for more in the morning as if they are ravenous. Additionally, there is always a huge mess in front of the bowls, and the water dish is full of dirt each morning. The cats are hardly getting fat. In fact, they are more lean than I'd like them to be.

The last few days in our house have been quite challenging. I got sick Monday night, and Logan got sick Wednesday morning, just after midnight. Needless to say, I haven't been getting enough rest to get through a regular day, nevermind recover from this bug. I thought last night I might actually catch up on some sleep. Unfortunately, the insomnia set in as it often does, and I ended up on the couch around 2am. This might be a good thing, given how things progressed.

Around 3am, just as I was finally, blessedly dozing off, I heard one of the cats growl, obviously protesting that we had a visitor at the cat bowl. This has happened before, so I turned on the light expecting to shoe away one of the neighbor cats. I even considered the possibility that an opossum had come in for a snack, as I could hear claws tapping as our visitor walked on the wood floor. Imagine my shock when the light went on and I was staring at a racoon. A really big racoon. This guy must have been a good 30-40lbs, and I don't even know how he fits through our cat door. However, he obviously has no problem, and was quite comfortable being there.

When he saw me start to slowly walk toward him, he casually turned around and went back outside. I figured he now knows somebody is up, and wouldn't return. How wrong I was. Not even 10 minutes later he was back, snacking away. At this point I was very concerned. He was outside my bedroom door, so I couldn't go get Fillip. I didn't want to yell to wake Fillip because I didn't want to scare the raccoon. I've heard these animals can be vicious, so wanted to ensure it didn't feel threatened or trapped. Had Fillip walked up behind it, I was terrified it would attack. The kids room was behind me with the door open, and I just kept hoping Logan didn't wake up sick and come out. After all, he had been doing that regularly for 2 nights. So, I slowly started toward the raccoon kind of waving a pillow and telling him "out! Go out!" When I was about 15 ft away, he again casually departed. At this point I closed the kids' bedroom door, and set the cat door to "out only." I didn't want my cats trapped inside if they needed to go out, but I definitely didn't want the raccoon back in! With a sigh of relief and exhaustion, I snuggled back into the couch to finally, possibly get some much needed sleep.

He was back in 5 minutes. Somehow, he has no problem coming through a locked catdoor. I simply couldn't believe it! So, we started the routine all over again. This time though, he was much more brazen. As I slowly advanced on him, with only my pillow for protection, he paused and backed about a foot away from the food bowl. Then, to my amazement, he reached out both paws, scooped up two fistfuls of food, and dropped it on the floor in front of him. Without taking his eyes off of me, he slowly snacked on his little pile, as if mindlessly eating popcorn while engrossed in a movie. I really wasn't sure I could get him to go. However, I must have still been enough of an unknown, and he did reluctantly abandon his little stash and head out.

At this point I barricaded the catdoor, so there was no way he could return. I was pretty skittish the rest of the night. At one point I could hear something walking toward me on the couch and had convinced myself it was back, and angry. I jumped up onto the couch, peeking around the corner to defend myself against our nighttime marauder, when all I saw was our 3 lb cat. Hardly a threat. I fell back asleep around 4:30am-5am. It wasn't until Logan got up at 5:30am needing my help that I understood the potential for disaster. After all, he would move right through the house, not realizing a potentially vicious critter was outside our bedroom, taking advantage of easily attained grub. The catdoor will obviously be sealed tight and barricaded at night going forward. As for our cats, we haven't yet resolved how to give them in and out access. I'm still amazed by how brazen and comfortable this not so little guy was. It does explain how we are going through massive quantities for catfood, and finding a scattered mess each morning, with hungry cats. At least I can anticipate saving money on catfood, now that I know I was supporting at least one extra hungry critter!

Happy 4th Birthday, Logan.

What can I say about this guy?

He is a wiry little bundle of energy, always on the go. He is silly, creative, hysterically funny and so endearing with those bright blue eyes and endlessly expressive face. He is the most stubborn one among us, yet I suspect his sense of goodness and compassion run equally deep. He will try any food offered and rarely dislikes any of it. His lack of g's and k's remains sweetly him. He loves to help with housework, yardwork, cooking and breaking things. He is the shadowy figure of my pre-dawn dreams, wandering in for a morning "snuddle." He is a child who will seek physical contact at any given time, even if that simply means quietly brushing his little fingers across the inside of my hand as we shop for groceries. He is a boy who this week helped his friend's "baby sister" feel comfortable as she began preschool at his school, choosing to sit by her side, protectively watching her nap while his friends went to play. He is heartbroken that his brother is moving on to a new school, yet elated that he has moved into the big boy Purple Room at long last. He giggles in his sleep. He is the one who will ask if someone is ok, when something is not, give kisses when you need them least and most, and make a grand show of throwing all his Candyland cards in the air in a dramatic fit of temper upon losing the game, replete with stomping, throwing himself on his bed and sobbing pathetically. He is a shining light of happiness in our world.

Happy birthday, my irresistable Logan.

Cherry Blossoms

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM.

I HOPE YOUR WHOLE DAY WAS THIS LOVELY.

Last summer, I had the good fortune of being unemployed, with plenty of spare time to go walking at the nearby lake. As the beautiful cherry blossoms bloomed throughout the park, I kept thinking that I needed to bring my camera and get some pictures of the kids. Well, I put it off so long that I didn't get even one picture. Today, I remedied that. Fillip told me early in the day he was picking up some extra work and wouldn't be home for dinner. I decided the kids and I would ride/skate to the park for a picnic. On the way to pick them up I stopped at the grocery store to grab some corned beef, peppered turkey, various cheese, some grapes and bottled water. We got home, got our gear and headed out- the boys on bikes and me with a balance-altering backpack.

It was a little tricky keeping my balance on skates (yes, quads..anyone who knows me knows it is Old School all the way when it comes to my skates) with a backpack filled with a sheet to sit on, dinner, and water all pulling this way and that every time I turned around to check on the mini cyclists behind me. Not to mention, trying to get all three of us quickly across a major street without anyone falling, stopping, and trying to convey that staying between the lines of the crosswalk is a much better idea than going diagonal across the intersection.

It was so peaceful and beautiful at the lake tonight. It really couldn't have been more perfect. The sunset was stunning, going from a soft amber and powder blue to brilliant fushia and orange. It seemed as if the sky wanted to make the sunset so spectacular that we would want today to never end for all its beauty. It was a relaxing dinner with the boys picking at the items I had brought, no pressure to finish a "meal" and me watching them eat more than anyone would ever expect. Hayden made an interesting comment at one point about a man we saw coming into the park in a wheelchair with his dog. The dog was in a bright yellow crossing guard vest, and the man was in a red velvet gown. Hayden passed him by and said "Sometimes as people get older, they really seem younger." He has no idea how true that can be. Such an old soul, that one.
As I tucked Logan in for bed, I got a quiet "tank you fowah taytind me on a pitnit, Mommy." (Read: Thank you for taking me on a picnic, Mommy.) Oh, we will definitely be doing this again.

Hayden's Pirate Party in Pictures

Hayden had quite a birthday party. He wanted a pirate theme, and we went all out. The kids got to do a treasure hunt, bust open a pinata, have some cake, and have more candy than any parent will ever forgive us for. They walked away with bags full of booty that included swords, eye patches, compasses, tattoos, stickers, jewelry, coins, and a bunch of other really cheap stuff from my favorite party supply website. Although our timing was off, Hayden and the other kids seemed to have a fantastic time. Momma and Papa pirate were absolutely beat by the end.

Argghhh Matey! Captain Hayden keeps the guests in line.
Who doesn't have a friend paint an awesome mural in the backyard the night before a party?And builds a ship.... I just like this picture.
Walking the plank.


The birthday boy on a treasure hunt.
Pillaging and plundering after the treasure hunt.
This is a picture of the kids with the pinatas a couple days before the party, but it gives you an idea of how freakin' huge they were.

The cake

I think they got enough candy.......even if they had to scuffle over it.


Finally, present time! It's fun when your big brother gets a new guitar!
Tired Mom and Dad.
Tired and ready for bed- nothing like beginning a new story when you get Charlotte's Web for your birthday. Oh, and those glasses have got to go. I look like I turned twice my age.

Happy birthday, Captain Hayden.

Hayden's 5th Birthday

What I can I say about my sweet Hayden? He is such a precious kid. He has a sensitive soul, and truly wants to make others feel good. He is generous with compliments, and most of the time willing to consider other opinions. He has an amazing intelligence that even his teacher seems a bit surprised by. He is now reading and constantly sounding out words wherever we are. He makes "good" mistakes, in that he is thinking about the phonic rules he knows, and applies them. It's not his fault English is quirky. He also does arithmetic, applying simple addition and subtraction to more abstract situations than his school worksheets. He seems to enjoy academic work more than anything, and talks about that much more than playtime at school. He absolutely adores his teacher, and I am wondering how he will do transitioning to the next class this month.

Yesterday was his very first T-ball game. It was so cute! He seemed to really enjoy himself, and like soccer, is eager to listen to the coaches and take their suggestions. He does tend to lose focus frequently, but we are hoping team sports will help him with that. One thing Fillip noticed during the game, is that Hayden was constantly watching for where Logan was. Those two are so connected and they need to know what the other one is doing at all times. It is sweet, although we need to let him know we've got Logan covered. Keep your eye on the ball, kid.

At home Hayden waffles between petulant child, and old soul. He is certainly charming, and very affectionate. Typically, he will be very helpful even without being asked. However, when he is tired or just not in the mood, he acts like a resentful teenager, put out at having to contribute in any way. Fortunately, it isn't the majority of the time. Often, Hayden's helpfulness is hampered by Logan's "little brother-ness." It's hard to make your bed when your little brother has his butt in your face. (Yes, we are working on that.)

Hayden retains his analytical and mechanical tendencies, which are offset by Logan's creativity. They want to be together all the time, even when they are driving each other crazy. Hayden wants to be in charge of Logan at all times, correcting his pronunciation, enforcing rules, and being "the leader." Unfortunately for Hayden, Logan doesn't always appreciate these efforts, and they tend to scuffle when Logan exerts his independence. Over the last couple months, they have been getting along well, and rarely do more than a little squabbling.He love to be silly, making up words and changing lyrics to songs. He has come up with some intensely irritating noices, and takes great joy in doing them over and over again.

Hayden tends to be quite emotionally sensitive with his own emotions, and in reading ours. He gets his feelings easily hurt, or gets very angry when he feels things are unfair. However, he also tells us he loves us, laughs easily, and is pretty good about clarifying when he isn't sure if we are mad. It often looks like he is absorbing his emotions, not bringing them to our attention when he is worried about something. However, he is able to express himself quite well when we talk together, and realizes he can express whatever is bothering him. He remembers every little detail, often amazing people with the trivial facts he will come up with months after seeing someone. Getting in trouble is a big deal to him, and he is generally really good. When he does get time out, he is truly outraged, but it is very easy to get a point across with him. He learns rules well, and generally doesn't try to break them. Sometimes, though, he does forget what they are.

He loves to snuggle when he goes to bed, and have a quiet chat before falling asleep. I love to snuggle him back, and remind him of how very much he is loved. He is a true joy every day.

When mechanical tendencies and creativity collide

Morning Jammie Jam

We aren't exactly morning people. Logan is. Therefore, Hayden (kinda) is. Now that the kids are older, we are more lax on getting up weekend mornings. Really, there are plenty of healthy snacks they can get, two rooms full of fun toys they are allowed to play with, and they know where to find us if they need their butt wiped. We tend to get up every 20-30 minutes from 6am-8:30am making sure they are fine, aren't beating each other up, and not flooding the bathroom under the guise of watering the plant. (Think quick- how long does it take a 2 year old to flood the bathroom? Less time than it takes to think of an answer! Just turn the faucet slightly over the sink counter, and put it on full blast. Ask me how I know that...)

A couple weeks ago I was quite surprised at what I found them doing, or rather where I found them. When I first got up to say good morning, I didn't see them. Then, I heard giggles and heard them call out to me. I looked up, and saw two grinning faces in the cabinets ABOVE their closet. They had moved the bunk ladder to the tall chest of drawers. The chest stands in front of the closet. With that set up it was easy to build a little nest of pillows, blankets, stuffed animals and toys up by the ceiling in the cubbies. What really amuses me is that since Fillip said they were allowed to do that, they haven't done it since. He took all the fun out of it, I guess.

However, it seems that those bins of toys, games, puzzles, books and a room full of off limits electronics like a tv, computer, etc.. just doesn't cut it. Saturday morning they decided to play Swimming Pool. This is how it went- they took their mattress off the bed, stripped the sheets off and made that the pool. They would jump from the actual bed to the mattress on the floor to go "swimming." I just have to assume they were jumping only from the bottom bunk, not doing an Olympic high dive event from the top, but honestly I didn't ask.

See, there was a second element to the game. They know that a pool needs a fence with a gate. A locking gate that must be unlocked to go swimming. So far, it sounds like a little harmless mischief with a well embedded focus on safety, right? Well, not so much. The way they would "unlock" the "pool gate" was to remove a screw from the bunk bed frame. Again, and again, and again.... Hayden somehow knew which of the three different allen wrenches to grab from the counter. Logan just grabbed a sharp knife to use as a wrench, which I didn't know was in the drawer. (He knew because he had spotted it a few days earlier helping Hayden set the table. Again...good values gone terribly wrong!) Anyway, when Fillip went into their room about 20 minutes after I had gone in, the bunk beds were listing to the side, with just one central screw barely holding it together.

I'm not sure the swimming lessons we signed up for will help here.

How could these two do anything wrong?

Indelible

After a very soggy day (not the weather outside, just the effects of a head cold and my emotions) I think that I have indelibly engraved the momentous occasion of the inauguration on the memory of everyone in this house.

I watched the swearing in and President Obama's (joy!) speech live on the internet from my desk. Although I was obligated to be there, I truly wished I was home on the couch watching such a significant, wonderful moment with Fillip and the kids. I read the speech again and again, getting teary each time. Because the sound quality on my desk was terrible, and people did interrupt me, I didn't initially hear the impact of President Obama's (joy!) delivery. On my way to pick up the kids, I got misty all over again hearing the speech rebroadcast on NPR.

As I walked into the school, I told the boys to quickly grab their stuff because President Obama's :) speech was on and I wanted them to hear it. They excitedly told me that they saw him on tv today! in the purple room! all three classes were there and he is our new President! I fell in love with the school all over again for this. Nonetheless, I still hurried them out to the car to hear the end of the speech, arriving home with tears streaming down my face with happiness at what our country has achieved by electing this particular man, and hope for what good things are to come by having collectively made this choice.

Before bedtime, I had the kids watch the swearing in again so I could instill in them once more how important that moment was, and share the feeling of hope that I have for the years to come. They were so excited to say that they saw that same thing today! Then, they were especially interested to know where the President lives and that he has two daughters. They now want to go there to meet the whole family, and were duely impressed by the pictures I took myself of that grand house when I was ten years old.

My childhood is peppered with fleeting memories of such significant moments, such as the day President Reagan was elected, and the tragedy of the Challenger Shuttle. They may not remember everything they saw today, will understand the significance even less, but hopefully they do remember the feeling of anticipation, joy and importance of welcoming our new President.

Just popping in for a minute...

Oh, hello there! Are you still here? How nice of you to stay!

Obviously, with weeks of e-silence on my blog, I've been occupied with other things. I could go on and on about busy holidays, rushed last minute shopping, haggling with downtown wholesale vendors, and eating delicious bacon wrapped hotdogs from a streetcart with the money I saved haggling. However, I just don't have it in me to wax poetically these days. Suffice it to say - holidays were good. Glad to get back to routine. So, I am here for just a moment to relate one tidbit.

HAYDEN CAN RIDE A BIKE!

We took his training wheels off yesterday and he took off like he's been riding independently for years. Getting started from a stopped position is a challenge, but he definitely has the balance once he gets started. Although Filllip and I have discussed at length where each of the kids' characteristics come from, I can say definitively- he gets this from his Dad.

I'm so proud of my little boy!!!

Me Time

Despite the old cliche, I love walking here in L.A. It is something that I find very rewarding and need to be mindful to make time for more often. We got our first rainy day of the season this weekend. I absolutely love rain, and took several opportunities to enjoy the weather. At one point, I found myself in the midst of several things at once,trying to jam pack my weekend with productivity and socializing, which is nothing unusual. I realized I had limited time to go for a good walk. Often, I take the kids on bikes and find myself slowly making our way around the block, arriving home a bit frustrated at our lack of umphh. This time, I decided to take some MeTime, a rare and under utilized treat.

I headed out in the drizzle for the lake. Initially, I felt stiff, doubtful that walking in cool, damp weather was such a great idea. Having to ford gutter rivers of rainwash impeded my pace, causing my enthusiasm to wane a bit. However, this Pisces is forever drawn to water, and I just felt a need to get to the lake. As I crossed into the park I felt much better, eagerly anticipating my destination. Although there were plenty of people there, there weren't nearly the crowds we usually find. For once, I headed to a bench and consciously took a seat to absorb the zen of the water.

As I sat looking at the pewter expanse, I became aware of my senses taking turns influencing my experience. I started to notice finer details about the scene before me. The grass was exceptionally green in contrast to the grey sky, and neutral plumed birds. The water had a gentle ripple, with mostly ducks floating about. As I looked around, the coots (my favorite bird there) seemed to be a single unit of feeding black, but the longer I watched, the more individual birds began to stand out. At first they seemed one blob of bobbing feeding heads, but really they were all at a different pace, some challening others, and some just hanging out on the perimeter. As I watched, I noticed I was hearing more than I was seeing. Those coots don't eat silently, but with a soft persistant pittering as their agile white beaks plucked blades of grass and insects from the ground. It was almost like the earlier whisper of rain. After a few minutes of concerted relaxation at the water, I headed back home at a brisk pace. I noticed a great difference in how I felt. Initially, I had felt stiff and slow,annoyed by my wet feet, burdened by the stress of numerous trivial responsibilities.

Once I headed back home, I could feel that my body posture was straighter, more open. My gait was swift with my hips and shoulders swinging freely with every step. My mind had shed the earlier stress and I felt like I was greeting each new step with a happy, positive thought. Often, I try to spend as much time with the kids to compensate for my time at work all week. I do an amazing job piling on the guilt for wanting a few minutes to myself, for leaving it all to Fillip for my own selfish wants. But, you know what? I truly feel that the refreshed wife and mom who returned to our house from the lake was so much more valuable than the stressed out lady that had left. Maybe I should feel guilty for not finding that inner peace more often. What a difference a walk makes.